The Color of Revenge

“I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for.” 

(J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

High school gym class was, for me, an exercise in fear. Our phys. ed. teacher willingly turned a blind eye to numerous incidents of bullying, and participated by adding his own belittling comments when they might elicit a laugh from the class. That was decades ago, yet I still remember the gut-clenching feeling of heading down the hall to the gym. I have often thought about going back in time as I am now... to do what? Bully the bullies? Settle the score?

Hunger for revenge has been the catalyst for a cascade of human suffering that spans eons. One clan wounded another and a blood-score had to be settled. So called, honor killings have claimed the lives of countless victims across numerous cultures. What does it all accomplish, this eye-for-an-eye perspective? Is life somehow restored, wounds made whole if someone feels pain at our hands?

“Not forgiving

is like drinking rat poison

and then waiting for the rat to die.” 

(Anne Lamott, Travelling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith)

The ego is utterly convinced that exacting revenge is just, that whatever wrong we have suffered will be balanced by the wounding of the perpetrator. The reality is, as Anne Lamott notes above, quite different. The hatred to which we cling in our hearts, the cold dish of revenge that awaits our delivery, have no redemptive or renewing power. In fact, those who have enacted vengeance seldom grow as a consequence of their actions. Instead, they are left empty, hollowed by the siren-call of false justice. 

“Anger, resentment and jealousy

doesn't change the heart of others;

it only changes yours.” 

(Shannon L. Alder, 300 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It's Too Late)

The voice within that demands revenge does not have our best interest at heart. This voice serves only the ego, and it's most base instincts at that. The whisper for vengeance can be subtle, employing a dark logic that subverts the possibility of other perspectives that might provide life-giving guidance. From this place is birthed actions that have ended relationships, destroyed lives, and filled jails.

Here's the bottom line - hurting someone else, in any way, shape, or form, will never make us better. The only power that exists to bring healing and renewal is Love, and as Paul says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." At the end of the day Love reveals that we are not the product of what has been done to us; rather, we are the fruit of how we respond to what has been done. 

With iconic clarity the Old Testament places revenge in the realm of the Divine: "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." (Leviticus 19.18) This command is reiterated in Deuteronomy when God affirms: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay." (Deut. 32.35). Perhaps the delicate balancing of justice's scales are beyond humanity's limited perspective to manage; perhaps in the end there is no healing to be had unless it is the healing of our own hearts through forgiveness.

I have sometimes desired a day of reckoning for the suffering of those gym class days. However, in my better moments I send Light and Love to my high school classmates and the gym teacher who tormented me. The world will not be better if they are broken; it will be better if all of us are whole. 

I leave the last word to Marcus Aurelius:

“The best revenge

is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

(Marcus Aurelius, Meditations)

The color of revenge...

hearts consumed by pain.

In bitterness

I

cursed

and darkness

became

me

In forgivness

I

Loved

and Light

filled

me

Forgive

Pray

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Do not say, "I will repay evil"; Wait for the LORD, and He will save you." (Proverbs 20.22)

- From Islam: "Whatever affliction may visit you is for what your own hands have earned." (Qur'an 42.30)

- African traditional: "Ashes fly back in the face of him who throws them." (Yoruba Proverb (Nigeria))

- From Buddhism: "A person who has committed one of the deadly sins will never again, until their death, lose the thought of that action; they cannot get rid of it or remove it, but it follows after them until the time of their death." (Perfection of Wisdom in Eight Thousand Lines 17.3)