The Color of Acceptance

“You are imperfect,

permanently and inevitably flawed.

And you are beautiful.” 

(Amy Bloom)

A couple of weeks into my time working with Anna through tax season I had an epiphany. I have, for a long time, struggled with anxiety when confronted with circumstances that involve a steep learning curve. The second week of my short admin career was painted upon a canvass of anxiousness and gut-churning. I didn't know why I felt this way, but I knew it was an old feeling, long familiar. Coffee with friends later in the week brought to light an aspect of my being that I have never understood.

“The most terrifying thing

is to accept oneself completely.” 

(C.G. Jung)

Since grade one I have struggled to process the flow of information with which I am presented. Turns out that it's not my ability to understand that is in question, but rather the volume and speed at which I am receiving new information, and thus my ability to incorporate it. My brain, it seems, likes to digest new things in small amounts. For all of my nearly 50 years I have considered this to be a great flaw - a failing of sorts, easily moving to shame when I don't understand procedures or instructions, when I feel "stupid."

Now though, I am beginning to see that I function just fine - at my own pace. In fact, a spark of respect is forming within me for the grade-one boy who struggled on through a seeming torrent of new learnings and did not quit. Bit by bit life is teaching me to accept the fabric of which I am woven - threads whole and threads worn, or even broken. As I grow I am challenging my own potential, even as I accept my limitations.

"'You have peace,' the old woman said,

'when you make it with yourself.'"

(Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven)

Perhaps being human means that we are, at the same time, creatures dancing with both possibilities and restrictions. We excel in one area even as we struggle with another. What is effortless for me frustrates someone else; what befuddles me comes seamlessly to another. We do not all have the same gifts or opportunities, nor do we always share common challenges or struggles. We do, however, all have some gifts to share, and some limitations within which we live. 

“Being challenged in life is inevitable,

being defeated is optional.” 

(Roger Crawford)

We all spend too much time and energy beating ourselves up over what we do not like about our bodies, jobs

, relationships, or thoughts... Instead, we could invest that energy into being our best, accepting the aspects we consider flawed, and working to change the bits that are changeable. At the end of the day, how we treat ourselves is a reflection of the way we will relate to others. Jesus challenged us with the notion that the Love through which we relate to our neighbor will be grounded upon the Love that we have for ourselves. 

As I grow to more deeply accept myself I am growing to more deeply accept the people around me - and this is a wondrous positive ripple in our world. Be gentle with you today - you are a gift of Love to the world, just as you are.

I leave the last word to Marilyn Monroe:

“Wanting to be someone else

is a waste of the person you are.” 

(Marilyn Monroe)

The color of acceptance...

falling into grace.

Self-judgement

chains

the heart

Love

breaks

chains

Breathe

Pray

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

From the Bible: "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me..." (Psalm 139.16)

From Taoism: “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu

From Buddhism: "Searching all directions with one’s awareness, one finds no one dearer than oneself. In the same way, others are fiercely dear to themselves.
So one should not hurt others if one loves oneself." (Rājan Sutta: The King" [Ud 5.1], translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu)