The Color of listening

“This is the problem

with dealing with someone who is actually a good listener.

They don’t jump in on your sentences,

saving you from actually finishing them,

or talk over you,

allowing what you do manage to get out to be lost or altered in transit.

Instead, they wait, so you have to keep going.” 

(Sarah Dessen, Just Listen)

 Have you ever had this happen - you're speaking as part of a conversation, and before you have reached the end of your thoughts someone interrupts, leaving your unfinished sentence dangling precariously over oblivion. Maybe they finish your sentence for you (whether that was your direction or not), or they may take the dialogue down an entirely different path. It seems that our culture has made interruption into an art. While listening to somebody speak we are already mapping out our next response, hearing only enough to consider what we want to say in reply.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;

they listen with the intent to reply.” 

(Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

Even when we are not interrupting a speaker we are quite likely listening with half an ear as the other half is considering the implications of what we are hearing, working out our position in rejoinder. In so doing we can only barely be present to those who are speaking; listening and responding are two separate ways of being - like moving forward and backward, you must cease one to begin the other.

“Listening is an attitude of the heart,

a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals."

(Sura Hart, Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids)

To listen is to let go of ourselves, to open ourselves in vulnerability to what another is saying. Listening is a move into silence - an internal stillness wherein peace is cultivated and possibility is ignited. If I am to listen to you, deeply, completely listen - then I will step back from the constant babble that pervades my thoughts, and pour my attention into your presence. In listening, my intent will not be to reply, rebut, or argue MY position, but rather, my role as listener is to hold what you are giving. Listening, is simply being with each other.

Whoever keeps their mouth and tongue

keeps themselves out of trouble.

(Proverbs 21:23)

My last thought on listening is this - when someone shares their thoughts they are inviting us into their world. For example:

 

"It's really cold out." says Dave

"What? It's not cold out... feels fine to me." replies Janice

Classic non-listening. Dave is telling us about his perception and experience; it is neither right nor wrong, it is just what his world feels like right now. So often we stop listening because our experience is not in agreement with that of another person. "Frank is a great guy." "No way, Frank is an idiot." Frank may be both, but a true listener will accept the invitation of the speaker to move into their perspective, their understanding.

So try this on as you hone your Loving and healing presence in this world: this week, just listen. Don't try to fix what you hear, don't try to argue it, or change it, or deny it. Just listen. If the speaker desires to enter your world they will let you know that it is time for you to speak. In the meantime, don't just clamp your mouth shut as you bite your tongue, actually be quiet enough on the inside to be present with those who are communicating with you.

 I leave the last word to the author of James:

 "Know this, my beloved brothers:

let every person be quick to hear,

slow to speak, slow to anger"

(James 1.19)

The color of listening...

the unfolding of Love's intent.

Music

is both

sound

and silence

for it is

stillness

that separates

and distinguishes

individual

pitches

to make a melody

Be silence

Listen

Breathe

Pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." (Proverbs 18.13)

- From Baha'i: "Only the listening ear can hear the singing of the Concourse on high." (Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, 8:23)

- From ancient Egypt: "Give your ears, hear what is said." (Amen-em-Opet, Egyptian Scribe, c.1200 B.C.E.)

The Color of Negativity

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable

 whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence,

if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things"

(Philippians 4:8-9)

Recent changes to Alberta's provincial leadership, as well as the impending federal election, have been the impetus for a flurry of criticisms in the social media feeds that I follow. It is sad enough that our elected leaders play sandbox politics, slinging mud at each other; it seems that the general public is pleased to join in.

I am saddened by all of this negativity for absolutely nothing desirable is gained from the expenditure of energy. If we are seeking change, presumably for the better, perhaps the best course of thought and action is to focus on the life-giving results that we want rather than on those things that we feel are broken, undesirable, or just plain wrong.

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you!

It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love!

The colors are like no other, they swim and leap,

they trickle and embellish!

And yet you choose to fixate your eyes

on the small fly which has landed on it!

Why do you do such a thing?” 

"(C. JoyBell C.)

Not only does negative thought pull you down, it also sends out a very destructive ripple into the world. It does not reflect the best of who you are, it is not a prayer for peace, for growth, or for healing; it does not create life. Mud-slinging and all forms of "BMW's" (bitching, moaning, and whining) are a waste of the amazing brain power that the universe saw fit to plant in a human being!

“Relationships with negative people

are simply tedious encounters with porcupines.

You don’t have the remote knowledge

how to be close to them

without quills being shot in your direction.” 

(Shannon L. Alder)

We may not like all of the policies and actions of a particular political party, and we have a responsibility to hold our leaders to account. Nonetheless, is it not our mandate, our responsibility as members of a community to support and encourage our leaders, and to ask them to do the same for us? Instead of picking away at the party we do not support how about thanking them for doing their best, praise their strengths, and offer encouragement for change? 

“Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind

for they are the weeds that strangle confidence.” 

(Bruce Lee)

We want a strong province, a strong country; a strong world even. For this we will need to give each other strength, we will need to reveal our best, we will need to exceed ourselves, go past our limits, stretch our potential. Humanity's evolution cannot suffer the foolishness of bickering and complaining. The Divine Light that fills us seeks expression through creative, novel, life-giving thought and action. 

Be the leader for which our communities yearn; be amazing and brilliant wherever it is you are. Inspire, Love, and shine brightly.

I end as I began, with a word from the great encourager Paul:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit,

but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 

Let each of you look not only to his own interests,

but also to the interests of others."

(Philippians 2.3-4)

The color of negativity...

collecting water in a broken barrel.

They who plant

lifeless seeds

harvest

what

is

sown

Be a seed

of life

Breathe

Laugh

Play

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven..." (Luke 6.37)

- From Islam: "Not one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Forty Hadith of an-Nawawi 13)

-- From Hinduism: "One should not behave towards others in a way which is disagreeable to oneself. This is the essence of morality. All other activities are due to selfish desire." (Mahabharata, Anusasana Parva 113.8)

The Color of Striving

“We must always strive to reflect the highest vision of ourselves.” 

(Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life)

Have you ever striven after something? Have you ever put all of your effort, every fiber of your being, towards a particular goal? The dictionary defines "strive" as, "to devote serious effort or energy; to make great efforts to achieve or obtain; to struggle vigorously." I am in a time of striving, of bending my will towards the fulfillment of a goal. I have a clear picture in my mind of what my goal is; I see some of the path that I must tread to reach this goal. Simply knowing the goal and seeing the path, though, is only one piece of achieving. Fulfillment comes only through the effort of striving.

“Life always begins

with one step outside of your comfort zone.” 

(Shannon L. Alder)

I am not particularly gifted at striving; I am easily distracted; many inner voices seek to discourage me; I often doubt my purpose and goal. Still, if striving were easy it would not take "serious effort and energy" to engage. So every day I put my feet to the path, my hands to the keyboard, my heart to the dream... and I strive.

“You will face your greatest opposition

when you are closest to your biggest miracle.” 

(Shannon L. Alder)

I am perhaps judged because I do not move ahead with the efficiency or speed with which others might. Maybe past failures suggest that I will not accomplish that to which I set my sights. Well, as the sage once said, "other people's opinions of me are none of my business!" So I continue, in my own way, in the face of my inner demons and guaranteed uncertainties, and I strive.

I am convinced that our heart's desire, our dreams and hopes - these are the Spirit's whisperings to us. These are the places where our gifts, our wisdom, our passions will find expression for the healing of our world. The Divine reaches through us to touch the world through our heart's desire, and the true depth of joy is known in the unfolding of that for which we truly strive.

The apostle Paul described it clearly in his writing to the Hebrews: 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"

(Hebrews 12.1)

For what do you strive? Is there something to which you devote serious energy and effort to achieve? Perhaps we are not fully alive until we have ignited our passion for life, until we have set our dreams on fire, until our heart pounds with the gargantuan effort necessary to see Love flowing through us. 

“I was taught to strive

not because there were any guarantees of success

but because the act of striving is in itself

the only way to keep faith with life.”
(Madeleine Albright, Madam Secretary: A Memoir)

If you have a dream, a goal, a hope - I encourage you to go after it with all your might; not obsessively, but with perseverance and determination. With all that you are... strive. In so doing you remake our world, you mentor, you inspire, you lead, you heal.

I leave the last word to LDS church leader, Gordon Hinckley:

“Do your best,

and be a little better than you are.”

The color of striving...

surrendering to the path.

A plant clipping

sends

roots

into the soil

unseen

they strive

grow

become

above the soil

leaves

are slow to grow

till

the roots

have filled

the pot

and then...

a flower blooms

Strive

pray

breathe

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4.8)

- from Baha'i: "Only when the lamp of search, of earnest striving, of longing desire, of passionate devotion, of fervid love, of rapture, and ecstasy, is kindled within the seeker’s heart, and the breeze of His loving-kindness is wafted upon his soul, will the darkness of error be dispelled, the mists of doubts and misgivings be dissipated, and the lights of knowledge and certitude envelop his being." (The Kitáb-i-Íqán")

- From Buddhism:"A novice asked the Buddha, "What is goodness and what is greatness?" The Buddha replied, "To follow the Way and hold to what is true is good. When the will is in conformity with the Way, that is greatness." (Sutra of Forty-two Sections 15)