The Color of Grime

“My theory on housework is,

if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire,

or block the refrigerator door,

let it be.

No one else cares.

Why should you?” 

(Erma Bombeck)

I was glancing around the kitchen one morning, from the living room, with the un-revealing grey light of a cloudy morning pouring in. The kitchen looked pretty good - from a distance. No big smudges, stains, drips, or spills screaming to be wiped up. I appreciate my home being tidy, and this part of it at least put me to rest.

Then the light changes. The clouds part, and brilliant sunshine bursts in; or the interior lights are turned on, and suddenly what has just seemed so clean is now glaringly messy. The stainless steel is dotted with fingerprints, the fridge door - let's not get started, and the counter top and back-splash are begging for a damp cloth's caress. 

“Excuse the mess,

but we live here.” 

(Roseanne Barr)

It takes a truly fastidious housekeeper to stand tall when their kitchen lays naked under a bright light. I'm not that person. It all makes me think though of the smudges, drips, and spills that be-spot my being. From a distance, in small doses and at the right moment, I can appear fairly neat and tidy on the inside. Under a bright and revealing light, though, one discovers a different story unfolding.

I have picked up a lot of emotional grime over the years - bits of mud and clay sticking to me. Sometimes it feels as though the tarnish is so heavy that very little of the material beneath shows through. You know how it is - you begin to feel down about yourself, and about life in general. You question your self-worth, your purpose, even your connection to family and friends. 

This, though, is not the end of the story. Come back to the kitchen with me for a moment and step into a cooking space that has not been cleaned for years. An oily-dusty smudge covers everything; something that was once food is cooked and/or dried on the stove and counter top. So what? Does this mean that the stainless steel beneath the grime is not stainless steel anymore? That the granite counter is no longer granite? Of course not.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others

until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” 

(Malcolm X)

Regardless of the grime, the essential quality of that which lies beneath the mess remains untouched. So too with me... and you. The mud and clay that we collect over life does not define us. Underneath the soot of our experiences we are created by Love, for Love, to be Love. We are created from something elemental, and are thus immutable in our essence. 

A little spit and polish is all it takes to make the stainless steel shine once again; it was there all along, just below a little muck. It is the same for us - just below the mud shines the brilliance that is truly you. Take courage, trust that it is there, and do all that you can today to let Love be seen in all that you are and do.

I leave the last word to Nic Sheff:

“As long as you look for someone else

to validate who you are by seeking their approval,

you are setting yourself up for disaster.

You have to be whole and complete in yourself.

No one can give you that.

You have to know who you are -

what others say is irrelevant.” 

(Nic Sheff)

The color of grime...

the doorway to buried treasure.

  

Scrape away

the mud and clay

the grit

the tarnish

the dust

A treasure waits

to be found

this day

Dig deep

look deep

and trust

Breathe

Trust

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139.13)

- From Confucianism: "Gentleness and goodness are the roots of humanity." (Book of Ritual 38.18)

- From Islam: "Every child is born of the nature of purity and submission to God." (Hadith of Bukhari)

The Color of Inspiration

 “Our chief want

is someone who will inspire us

to be what we know we could be.” 

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Recently I officiated at a funeral for a man who died from depression. Ironically, while struggling with his own darkness he was a brilliant light for those who knew him. His Facebook posts were filled with encouragement and inspiration. Even so, the light that he shared with others did not seem to filter through the cracks to lift up his own heart.

For whatever reason, there are days that are just hard to get through - too much to do days, grief days, anxious days, fighting the darkness days... just plain old hard days. Like this man recently deceased, we've all faced our share of such days – hunching our shoulders against the stress, our coat wrapped tight against life's storms. We’ve trudged into the morning’s tempest hoping only for survival. And from where does the strength for survival come? 

When I am clinging precariously to the cliff of my hard days I look for a bit of encouragement to keep me going. A kind word goes a long way in bolstering the spirit, in piercing a difficult day's darkness. In fact, I am sometimes taken aback at the power a word of encouragement has to turn the tide. A word of thanks can make one's work seem worth the effort. Reminding someone that they are appreciated can cut through the fog of despair. The simple sharing of compassion may be the bridge that carries us across the seemingly impassable chasm of our struggles.

“If you're reading this...

Congratulations, you're alive.

If that's not something to smile about,

then I don't know what is.” 

(Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head)

On my hard days what I really want is someone who will remind me that Love is within and around me, that I have the strength I need for this day, that storms pass, that I am not alone. When the path ahead appears too steep and rough for my tired feet I look for that voice that knows me deep inside, knows my power, knows the reserves I have not begun to tap. I listen for words that affirm that I can do so much more than I've ever imagined. Life has lots of terribly challenging stuff in it - gut-wrenching-tear-us-apart stuff; but none of life's stuff is greater than Love at work within us.

So - if today is one of your hard days I am telling you that you will make it through. You are filled with gifts and wisdom, enough - more than enough, to keep you going. Take one moment at a time, breathe deeply, and with your head held high - don't quit. 

Look for every opportunity today to be encouraged, to be in-spired (which means to be filled with spirit, with the breath of life). At the same time, as you are filled, offer encouragement - sometimes an innocent word from a stranger is the inspiration that carries us forward. A phone call, an email, a text, a note - just might make all the difference in somebody's hard day. 

I leave the last word to musician, Ed Sheeran:

“Everything will be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, then it's not the end.” 

(Ed Sheeran)

The color of inspiration…

memory of the sun in the darkness of night.

It is a lie

that the sun

is gone

Clouds

have always

been

liars

Because we do not sense it

Does not

Mean

It is not

there

Hold tight

breathe

pray

To Ponder Further:- From the Bible: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

- From Japanese Tenriism: "I created you human beings because I desired to see you lead a joyous life." (Ofudesaki 14.25)

- Hinduism: "The Infinite is the source of joy. There is no joy in the finite. Only in the Infinite is there joy. Ask to know the Infinite." (Chandogya Upanishad 7.23)

The Color of Anxiety

“I promise you

nothing is as chaotic as it seems.

Nothing is worth diminishing your health.

Nothing is worth poisoning yourself

into stress, anxiety, and fear.” 

(Steve Maraboli, Un-apologetically You)

You know how it is... the grass needs mowing, something on a vehicle or in the house needs fixing, you haven't visited "what's-their-lips" in a coon's age, the laundry's waiting, your paying job wants you to work overtime, and it feels like you just can't keep up.  

Ever rowed that boat - where keeping everything fixed, cleaned, organized, and attended to takes more than you have in you? Stress builds up, sleep is hard to come by, and every part of your body is screaming at you that you need to breathe and slow down before your ticker blows a gasket.  

Anna and I have sailed these seas off and on over the years. A couple of years ago we asked ourselves a question that stopped the room from spinning for a moment: "will any of this worry matter in 20 years?" Well, some of what we do today will impact the road ahead - the forgiveness that we initiate; kindness to a neighbor; standing up to something that is unjust; the day-to-day care of family and friends; these things are stones cast into the waters of life that create long-lasting ripples.  

Consider though, all of the worry we generate around our day-to-day living. Drive faster becuase we might be five minutes late. Really?! In 20 years that will matter to anyone? We get ourselves all tied up in knots over aspects of our day that have no power to improve our quality of life. There are things that do need to be done to live well, and then there is all the rest that, 20 years down the road, will be long forgotten - dust in the attic of life's memories.  

In our North American hyper-anxiety we purchase things we do not need, work longer hours to pay for these things, and then worry that we do not have time to use them. According to statistics we are wound up way too tight with no idea how to undo our worry. 

“Anxiety is love's greatest killer.

It makes others feel as you might

when a drowning man holds on to you.

You want to save him,

but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” 

(Anaïs Nin) 

Perhaps there is an answer though. We could stop caring about the unimportant bits, and choose instead to be attentive to the rich life that calls to us. This is a life in which care of self becomes the model for care of our neighbor. This is the life in which "new and bigger" takes a back seat to coffee with a friend, a walk at sunset, or a meal with someone who is lonely.  I experience the richness of life, not in the rat-race for more money or more stuff - or for more busyness. I discover abundant life in being present to the beauty of a moment, being aware of the plight of those I meet, using my gifts right now to do what I can to encourage others, to heal our world. 

If you are feeling like the demands of life are eating away at you perhaps you need to ask, "will this matter in 20 years?" and "does this really improve my quality of life right now?"  If the answer to either question is "no" then I'd be inclined to say, "let it go; it's not worth the worry."  

YOU are beautiful, and the world needs your beauty to shine as brightly as it can, for there is only one of you, only one person with your gifts and wisdom, only one who can change the world for the better as you can. So let go of anything that holds you back; be attentive to what is truly of value in your day.  

I leave the last word to Jesus of Nazareth: 

"Therefore I tell you,

do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more important than food,

and the body more important than clothes?"

(Matthew 6:25-34)

The color of Anxiety...

suffocation of the heart.

I worried

about

tomorrows

that

might never

arrive

while

missing

todays

that would

never

repeat

Breathe

Listen

Be

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippinas 4.6-7)

- From Sikhism: "Should anyone be victim of great anxiety, his body racked with maladies, beset with problems of home and family, with pleasure and pain
alternating, wandering in all four directions without peace or rest; should he then contemplate the Supreme Being, Peaceful shall his mind and body become." 

(Adi Granth, Sri Raga, M.5, p. 70)

- From African Traditional: "Our Father, it is thy universe, it is thy will: Let us be at peace, let the souls of the people be cool. Thou art our Father, remove all evil from our path." (Nuer Prayer - Sudan)