Self-Control and the Power of Choice

"A person without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."

(Proverbs 25.28)

I'm going to cut down on how much sugar I consume. Or coffee. Or TV. Or... (you fill in the blank). I'm going to pray and meditate every morning. I'm going to go to the gym four days a week. I'm going to save more, tithe more, invest more. I'm going to be more patient. I am going to spend more quality time with my spouse, kids, elder parents... How many times in life do we make these little resolutions, these promises to self, with full intention of seeing them through - until the alarm clock goes off at 5am and it's dark and cold out and the gym seems much less important than keeping the bed warm. 

Being self-disciplined is challenging, it takes - well, it takes discipline. That's the kicker for me. I wouldn't mind self-discipline so much if it were just a bit easier. Problem is my mind keeps playing tricks on me. Take sugar for instance. With a family history of diabetes and a personal history of hypoglycemia you'd think I have good reason to cut back on North America's favorite addiction. So I say to myself - "okay. Today I'm not eating sweets. None; all day." And I'm good til I go on a pastoral visit and I'm offered a piece of oven-warm flapper pie and my mind says, "It's alright 'cause it's in the line of duty. You have to eat this pie." And of course, I end up in complete agreement with myself and I smile from ear to ear as that pie goes down so nice. 

Self-discipline. Within me is a rebellious two-year-old who does not want to be told "no," who will have his own way, who will throw an internal tantrum if his will is rebutted. It takes all of my awareness to realize that the often-subtle voice of this two year old does not have my best interests at heart. I experience life most richly when I exercise a liberal measure of self-discipline - not rigidly, but liberally sprinkled throughout the various pages of my personal story. When I make choices to eat well, to exercise my body, mind and soul, when I reach for the life-giving elements and away from toxic elements of life - then a tremendous strength pours through me.

The crux of the matter is choice. In his book, The Path of Least Resistance, Author Robert Fritz suggests that our days are guided by the primary, secondary and tertiary choices that we make. Primary would be like, "I choose to be healthy." Secondary would be, "I choose to exercise to be healthy." Tertiary would be choosing to go for a walk this evening. Each moment along the way will bring us to a "Y" in the path, where one road takes us to the fulfillment of our primary choices while the other sabotages our intentions. 

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant,

but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

(Hebrews 12.11)

The apostle Paul was big on self-discipline. He recognized that walking the path of Love required Spirit-empowered choice and constant vigilance through self-discipline. Like me (and perhaps you) Paul knew that the rebellious two year old was a strong internal voice. He stated in the letter to the Romans, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Rom. 7.15). There's me - knowing who I can be, but falling short of the mark. But Paul does not give up on himself, or on us. He goes on in chapter 12 to say:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed 

by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is:

His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

(Romans 12.2)

In other words, through the power of disciplined choice we can keep that unruly two year old in line, and consequently make choices that allow our brilliance to shine through in world-healing ways. To be true to ourselves is a choice, and it takes tremendous will to realize that choice. It is a lie of the darkness, however, that tells us that we are trapped by our past, unable to grow, unable to choose Love. The work of God's Spirit is the cultivation of life-giving virtue within us: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control..." (Gal 5). We are not alone in this work for Christ stands with us to give us strength and encouragement. And in that light we have choices to make.

So choose Love; choose life. Each moment, as that two year old seduces you with toxic options, turn the other way and be well, and amazing, and beautiful and all that you can be.  This world needs you, because only you can do what you were born to do. Choose well...

I leave the last word to the Greek philosopher, Plato:

"The first and best victory is to conquer self."

Choosing Love with you,

Pastor Bill

the road not taken

wide and easily trod

is waiting

calling

whispering

and powerless

for your

heart

is

of God

Choose

this day

to

Love

Breathe

Pray

[First published April 24, 2013]

No More Darkness

“I am the light of the world.

Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness,

but will have the light of life.” 

(John 18.12)

Push back the darkness.

With all your might, with the intensity of a thousand suns breaking into the blackest night - push back the darkness.

Why is it that we forfeit so much power to the darkness? You know how it is - some fool chooses to commit an act of vandalism and the community reacts by passing laws regarding curfew. A store experiences shoplifting and subsequently the owner harasses any teens seen standing around talking. A few hurtful actions push a community into fear mode and the war against... whatever... is on. Violence, in great or small measure, becomes the impetus for a rebounding flood of negative thought, emotion and action. All hail eye-for-an-eye as we walk around blind.

The recent (1)  bombing in Boston is a close-to-home example. A ripple of fear reverberated across the continent on Monday and the reaction will undoubtedly be stricter laws of some sort; increased vigilance, decreased trust.  Score: darkness 1, light 0.

Perhaps it is part and parcel for being human - that we let one act of hurt outweigh ten thousand acts of kindness and respect. Consider how many people walk into stores in North America every day, and not one of them causes any harm. In fact, many will hold a door open, pick up a dropped parcel for a stranger, give back miscalculated change... millions of acts of kindness every day. You'd think that the tsunami of positive reaction to so much goodness would wipe away the few acts of hurt that occur. But no; two thousand people walk into Walmart on a Saturday; one of them pulls a gun. Just one. The community responds as though the entire two thousand were criminals looking for a place to happen.   

Bah! Humans are crazy... but Love is crazier! I am convinced of Love for I have seen and experienced its healing power. There is some bad stuff happening in our world - lots of really bad stuff, globally and in our own back yards. But all that bad stuff clumped together and put on the scale is small potatoes compared to what God's Love is doing in and through us crazy humans. Around the world today, right now in fact, hundreds of millions of people are living the Love that they are. At this very moment the Spirit of Christ is moving within the hearts of billions. This very second acts of generosity, compassion, understanding and openness are beaming a brilliant light into our world. Jesus said, in Luke 17, that the Kingdom of God is within us (or among us, depending on the translation). What? The power, authority and healing of God's Kingdom is here, now - in you, in me, in her in him? Yup. 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 

(Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches)

We don't have to let the few acts of violence dictate who we are. We don't need a war on drugs, a war on bullying, a war on war. We only need to be true to ourselves, to the Love that is woven into the fabric of our DNA. Our neighbor experiences a home break-in. We could react in fear and all buy security systems, hiding behind locked doors. We could - and score one for the darkness. Or, we could forgive, and realize that Love is brighter than the darkness, stronger than fear, broader, deeper and infinitely more powerful than any violence. We could choose to continue to trust and thrust fear aside.

Remember that Mid-Week Devotion last year on being a "nudger"?  One small random act of kindness nudges back the darkness. Remember the numerous times I have reminded us that we are made in God's image - that image shines through us and pushes back the darkness. We can, like frightened kittens scatter at the first sign of threat, or, like lions we can let out a roar that shakes the forest. That roar proclaims this a day of renewal, of truth, of Love running the score board to infinity. 

On Monday a few people, who have forgotten that they were created for Love, detonated explosive devices that reverberated across the world. Join me in sending a vibration out today that shakes this earth to its core - one built on gratitude, unending forgiveness and mercy; one that shakes violence to its knees. With every person you meet today let Love guide your words, actions and attitudes. Push back the darkness; shake the world.

I leave the last word to author CS Lewis

"Christianity asks us to recognize that the great religious struggle

is not fought on a spectacular battleground,

but within the ordinary human heart, when every morning we awake

and feel the pressures of the day crowding in on us,

and we must decide what sort of immortals we wish to be."

(Mere Christianity)

Pushing with you,

Pastor Bill

A dark place

crumbles

as

light

through a single crack

pours

in

You are that crack

Beam

breathe

be

“There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.” 

(Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems)

(1) [First published April 18, 2013]

The Plain, Old, Everyday Life

"It's not a bad idea

to occasionally spend a little time thinking

about things

you take for granted.

Plain everyday things."

(Evan Davis, BBC host)

The floor under our feet, the air we breathe, the pumping of our heart... we seldom think on these things - until they are in jeopardy or are gone. We walk miles upon this earth rarely considering the solid foundation beneath us, until an earthquake shakes our world. So much at play in the background that sustains life in quiet, subtle ways.

I once asked a woman who had been married 40+ years what a husband was (he was sitting beside her):

"A husband is someone you take for granted."

"Really" I say (with eyebrows raised in surprise)

"Yes - because his care and love are so constant, like the air I breathe, that I never think about it. He is always there for me, supporting me, loving me; I never have to worry about it"

Wow!

So much that gives us life and we give it nary a thought till we must do without it. April 24 will mark two years since my mentor died. Michael was one of those pieces of life that I took for granted. We did not get together often, however, when we did he helped me set my compass, reminded me who I was. Between our visits he faded to the background, and like air and sunshine and love, his presence in this world gave life to me even when I was not thinking about him. I always knew though, in the back of my mind, that he was there, and at a whim I could call him up or send an email and my bubble would return to center. But Michael died, as we all must do, and life goes on. 

Most, perhaps all, of this corporeal world is transitory - it crumbles, fades, and turns to dust over time. The people and the structures that we rely upon for support will some day be gone, and us with them. Not a particularly comforting thought, but it is a helpful reminder that while husbands and wives and mentors and all the other subtle-in-the-background pieces of life are delicious and important, they are not the source of life. All these rely on something older, greater, deeper; these, while life-supporting, rest upon a foundation that is unshakable, unending and infinite in scope and breadth - God's Love. 

"In the beginning God created..." Before all, the absolute "prior," the quintessential start - God's Love. Everything that exists stands upon the foundation of this Love; all of life draws its breath from this Love; our compass, our identity, our centered bubble, these depend upon God's Love. And this is good news for it means that no matter who dies, no matter what changes challenge us, we will endure, more even thrive because Life and Love always surround and suffuse our being.

I miss my mentor - and this is a good thing, for it reminds me to be aware of where I get my strength from. Michael, like so many in my life, was not the source but rather was a funnel, open to God's love pouring through him to me, and many others. I too am a funnel, as are you. We are not the source, rather, we stand upon the source and our Creator's Love pours through us to support, heal and endlessly recreate our world.

So give thanks today for all of the in-the-background pieces of your life that hold you up. Then, take a quiet moment to breathe, to listen to the whisper of Spirit, to feel the thrum of God's life pulsing through your heart. You are alive and Love pours into and through you. You are someone's taken-for-granted support. God is good, life is great, Love is who you are!

I leave the last word to Paul:

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our 

(Romans 8.37-39, NKJ)

In this life with you,

Pastor Bill

Relax

It

Is

In

God's

Hands

All is well

Breathe

Pray

Play

[First published April 10, 2013]