The Color Of Being Wrong

“Everybody is wrong about everything,

just about all the time.” 

(Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto)

Fairly frequently I discover that I am completely wrong about something - you know, little things like some statistic or a bit of trivia, or a corrupted a memory file of some event; occasionally about something more significant like how to be a good husband or father. My 17-year-old son does not hesitate to inform me when I am in error. My wife too is bold in correcting any misguided assumptions I may fabricate. I'm not really fond of being told that I'm wrong; it pokes a number of my buttons, and for this I am grateful for it is in those moments that I have a chance to grow.

“There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: 

one is when you're wrong and you can't face it;

the other is when you're right and nobody else can face it.” 

(Criss Jami, Diotima, Battery, Electric Personality)

It is a truly ego-busting experience to face one's imperfections. In my case, admitting that I am in error threatens a bit of the shaky ground upon which my ego makes its stand. "What did you have for supper last Monday?" I might be asked. "Soup" is my reply, until I am corrected by someone with a clearer memory who reminds me that roast beef was served at that evening meal. For just a moment I find my reality unsettled - if I am wrong about this detail am I slipping on others as well? Am I losing it? 

In recognizing fallibility, though, I am coming to realize that who I am is not about how right, accurate, or precise I am. I make mistakes, often and regularly; it is a part of my persona. So be it. "To err is human..." and I am all of that. Being able to acknowledge to my family, or to anyone for that matter, that I am incorrect about something is a bit of grace in the world. It tells them that maybe it's okay for them also to be wrong sometimes, that the sky won't come crashing down if we are not right about everything all the time. Correct or incorrect does not define me - my heart defines me, Love defines me. 

“The best of us must sometimes eat our words.” 

(J.K. Rowling)

I am making it a spiritual practice to embrace being corrected. I am new at this, I still react, the preservation instinct demanding that my perception of reality be the only one. Sometimes, though, I am able to just let it go, to smile and breathe and be thankful for the boldness of others to show me the error of my ways. The best antidote to the stubborn, argumentative and must-be-right parts of myself is to commit to listening to what others are saying - really, deeply listening. If I'm trying to be right I've probably turned off my ears. If I am attuned to hearing what the other person is saying I probably have little energy to divert into being right.

Do you need to be right? When someone close to you is wrong do you delight in correcting them? If so, you have my compassion - it's a hard road this growing as a human. How about joining with me and allowing being wrong to be a part of your spiritual journey? And a part of this is, of course, letting others be wrong and when it is not about life and death, not correcting them. Just being quiet, and gentle, and smiling and Loving them. 

I leave the last word to author and businessman Donald Hicks:

“To make mistakes or be wrong is human.

To admit those mistakes

shows you have the ability to learn,

and are growing wiser.” 

(Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness)

The color of being wrong...

humility in action.

Admit

you are

wrong

to a child

and teach

them

how

to

learn

Love

Breathe

Pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13.4-5)

- From Buddhism: "The man who foolishly does me wrong, I will return to him the protection of my most ungrudging love; and the more evil comes from him, the more good shall go from me." (Siddhartha Gautama Buddha)

The Color of Passion

“I want to know what passion is.

I want to feel something strongly.” 

(Aldous Huxley, Brave New World)

I have a grudging respect for the adherents of ISIS. It is not their actions that impress me, nor their ideology, for both birth great hurt into our world. Rather, it is the raw passion of the movement that inspires my appreciation. Merriam Webster defines passion as, "a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something." Theologically, passion is that power which opens the heart to hurt-with, as in the passion of Christ. The men and women of ISIS definitely have a strong feeling about their beliefs, and they hurt with the purpose of their cause, be it ever so misdirected.

It is no wonder that young people from around the world have been drawn to ISIS. Our youth and young adults are attracted to the energy of passion - moths to the fire as it were. The brutality of ISIS may be overlooked when it is hidden behind the raging fires of an ignited passion. For some it is more desirable to burn intensely for the wrong reason than to not burn at all.

“The saddest people I've ever met in life

are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all.

Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand,

and without them, any happiness is only temporary,

because there's nothing to make it last.” 

(Nicholas Sparks, Dear John)

What passions are we demonstrating for the upcoming generation? A love of big houses and jacked-up trucks? Political infighting and partisan arguing? Have we demonstrated a bone-deep desire to give our lives for a cause that could actually change our world for the better?

According to the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians, the fruits of the Spirit are Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. These are the qualities humanity expresses when we are open to Love working through us. What would happen if we were as passionate about living out these ideals as ISIS is about living out theirs? Perhaps the youth of ISIS would be seeking us out...

“As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” 

(Pablo Neruda)

I have met many impassioned people - men and women who shine a brilliant light, who inspire, who would die to bring an ounce of healing to the hungry. Regardless of creed or color there are those who burn so hotly that all who come near are inflamed by their passion. This is what we are built for - this heat, this raging fire that would spend our incarnation in an instant if it would burn away the world's ills. 

What inspires you? For what is your passion ignited? Does your heart smolder, all smoke and no heat, or do you blaze? The Divine within you would kindle an unquenchable heat if only fanned by Love's desire. Let us, all together, shine so brightly for the good things, for healing, and new life, that the dim fire of ISIS sputters in comparison. Let us be the light that draws our youth back to us.

I leave the last word to Paul, whose passion was for unity of Spirit:

"Complete my joy by being of the same mind,

having the same love,

being in full accord and of one mind."

(Philippians 2:2)

The color of passion...

purifying fire.

A spark

on dry tinder

enflames

a forest

when

fanned

to

life

be

someone's

spark

Breathe

Pray

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God." (Psalm 84.2)
- From African Traditional Religion: "One who stays in the shade does not know the sun's heat." (Igala Proverb, Nigeria)

- From Islam: The believer who participates in human life, exposing himself to its torments and suffering, is worth more than the one who distances himself from its suffering.
(Hadith of Ibn Majah)