Turning Despair Around

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or

confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, 

who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."

(Henri Nouwen)

Have you ever thought, "I don't know how much more I can take?"

There is an "at my wit's end" flavor to such thoughts, and it is a dangerous place to be. There are times in life when the stresses we experience threaten to overwhelm us, pressures and expectations swamping the boat of our being. The demands of our job, our commitments (or over-commitments) to community endeavors, the needs of our family and other relationships - add all of this up and there is a very real possibility that we may feel that we are unable to cope.

Sad thing is, when this happens we often think that we are the only person on earth experiencing it. Everyone else is walking around looking like they are holding it all together, and we're falling to pieces. So we don't talk about it, we paint on the "I'm fine" face and we continue to crumble on the inside where nobody can see.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing this kind of stress then I want to give you some encouragement. Find someone to talk with - a friend, a counselor, a pastor, and tell them how you feel. Even if you are embarrassed or ashamed, dig deep and find the courage to open up - simply sharing our feelings with someone we trust can bring a world of healing to us. 

And then cut back - carve a little space into your life so that you can breathe and have some rest. Let go of, or take a leave of absence from committees or other volunteer work, cut back on work hours for a while if you are able, ask a friend or relative to provide some relief from parenting... wherever or however, create some healing space in your life and do those things that rejuvenate you.

You see, you are worth it because there is only one "you" on this earth, and nobody can replace you. And seeing as how God took such tremendous care to create you with all of your gifts and wisdom and love - we don't want to lose you.

"What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope. '

(George Eliot)

There is no loss, no stress, no expectation that is so significant that you cannot survive, and even thrive in the face of it; but you will need love and support to do so. Reach out and find that support so that you may be the best you that you can be. At the very least, if you don't know where to turn, call me and we'll work together to find your road to renewal.

I leave the last word to the Psalmist:

Is anyone crying for help?

God is listening, ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;

if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

Disciples so often get into trouble;

still, God is there every time.

He’s your bodyguard, shielding every bone;

not even a finger gets broken.

(Psalm 34.17-20, The Message)

Pax,

Pastor Bill

[First published October 17, 2012]