The Color of Joy

It's a brand new day...

What is Joy?

- a feeling? A state of being? A response? Today I invite you to consider times in your life when you have experienced Joy...

“When you do things from your soul,

you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” 

(Rumi)

Making supper for my family yesterday I fell into a moment of pure Joy. Nothing exceptional was happening - our "Chocolate Lands" CD was playing, I was sipping a very nice Apothic Dark wine, the curry dish I was preparing smelled heavenly... and I was filled with the unmistakable aroma of Joy. In that moment everything was perfect; I could have reclined in its stillness forever.

Joy, I think, is not about what we own, achieve, or hunger for. It cannot be bought or sold; it cannot be predicted, commercialized, or replicated. It is a chaotic, unpredictable, light that flares into our awareness according to its own dictates. Like air, I suspect that joy surrounds us at all times, but that we are only aware of it when we still ourselves and open our heart to the moment.

For just a few heartbeats yesterday afternoon I awoke to the goodness of life, the wonder and beauty of simple things - food, wine, family, home - and in those heartbeats I felt the movement of Joy in the current of life. 

“One can never consent to creep

when one feels an impulse to soar.” 

(Helen Keller, The Story of My Life)

Joy is the soaring of the soul, an absolute union with the Divine. It is a bridge that Love creates to transport us into the heart of something vastly greater than ourselves. To be "in Love" is to know Joy; to be in Christ is to know Joy; to just "be" is to know Joy. So very much healing happens when we lower ourselves into the warm and embracing waters of Joy's deep pool.

Be open to the power of Joy in this moment. Open your awareness to the good things in your life, to the wonderful ordinariness of whatever is happening right now. Breathe deeply, be grateful... just let go and fall into the water of Love. Joy might just spring upon you.

The color of Joy...

Some say that it is our natural state of being

To ponder further:

From the Bible - "The kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14.17)

From Buddhism - "You should devote yourselves to find joy in pleasures of the Dharma, and should take no pleasure in desires." (Holy Teaching Vimalakirti 4)

From Hinduism - "The Infinite is the source of joy. There is no joy in the finite. Only in the Infinite is there joy. Ask to know the Infinite." (Chandogya Upanishad 7.23)

What Friends are For

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” 

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

There are certain people in our lives who radically alter the course of our trajectory. My wife is one of those people to me. When first meeting Anna 22 years ago I could not have imagined the gift that her companionship would unfold to be. Anna married a man covered in rough edges, a person who did not know himself well and who was prone to impatience and stubbornness. Through these years her friendship has been God's polishing stone for my soul. She may not have been aware of it, but her gifts, and her personal challenges, have been exactly what was needed for my heart to grow. Many times she may justly have questioned why she was with me; I can tell you that her presence in my life has been the catalyst for much of my awakening. If I have evolved, if my being has known any metamorphosis, the price has been paid in great part by my beloved.

I suppose that's how it works - that God's hand reaches out to sculpt us by way of the people who share our journey. Family, friends, neighbors, those we love and those we loathe - God works away at our jagged edges, carefully chipping off the bits that are no longer needed, revealing the perfection of His love in His handiwork. The gentleness of our journey-mates can soothe the beast within, healing and nurturing our heart. Concurrently, the rough shards that make up the broken pieces of other's lives also teach us, hone us, grow us. In fact, the butterfly within the cocoon of our being will emerge only as we are purified by Love's encounter with all that humanity expresses.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are,

understands where you have been,

accepts what you have become,

and still, gently allows you to grow.” 

(William Shakespeare)

Slowly, carefully, I am becoming me, and in no small part due to the constancy of Anna's companionship. In the mirror of her love I have seen my worst and my best, marveled at my potential, and wept for the fool that I so often embody. And still that mirror bravely stands beside me to walk into the unknown of tomorrow. Is that not who Christ is - the one who stands beside us, within us, often carrying us, no matter what the path, no matter how steep, how rocky? Is the Love of Christ not a mirror to our soul revealing our sin, disclosing the wonders of God's imprint? Anna is Christ to me every day. Her hard days challenge me, her strength becomes my strength. 

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

"Pooh?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.

"I just wanted to be sure of you.” 

(A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh)

The people in our lives are our strength - through their care and by way of their rough edges God teaches us, unfolds us, makes and remakes us. Take time this week to offer a word of gratitude to the people who have changed the trajectory of your life.

I leave the last word to the writer of Ecclesiastes:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, a friend can help them up.

But pity the person who falls and has no one to help them up!

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Working on the bits and edges with you,

Pastor Bill

A gentle touch

sands us

a smile

a kind word

smooths

the edges

beauty within

as

marble

chips away

God's hand

upon

our

being

Breathe

Be

Pray

[First published May 1, 2013]

Self-Control and the Power of Choice

"A person without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."

(Proverbs 25.28)

I'm going to cut down on how much sugar I consume. Or coffee. Or TV. Or... (you fill in the blank). I'm going to pray and meditate every morning. I'm going to go to the gym four days a week. I'm going to save more, tithe more, invest more. I'm going to be more patient. I am going to spend more quality time with my spouse, kids, elder parents... How many times in life do we make these little resolutions, these promises to self, with full intention of seeing them through - until the alarm clock goes off at 5am and it's dark and cold out and the gym seems much less important than keeping the bed warm. 

Being self-disciplined is challenging, it takes - well, it takes discipline. That's the kicker for me. I wouldn't mind self-discipline so much if it were just a bit easier. Problem is my mind keeps playing tricks on me. Take sugar for instance. With a family history of diabetes and a personal history of hypoglycemia you'd think I have good reason to cut back on North America's favorite addiction. So I say to myself - "okay. Today I'm not eating sweets. None; all day." And I'm good til I go on a pastoral visit and I'm offered a piece of oven-warm flapper pie and my mind says, "It's alright 'cause it's in the line of duty. You have to eat this pie." And of course, I end up in complete agreement with myself and I smile from ear to ear as that pie goes down so nice. 

Self-discipline. Within me is a rebellious two-year-old who does not want to be told "no," who will have his own way, who will throw an internal tantrum if his will is rebutted. It takes all of my awareness to realize that the often-subtle voice of this two year old does not have my best interests at heart. I experience life most richly when I exercise a liberal measure of self-discipline - not rigidly, but liberally sprinkled throughout the various pages of my personal story. When I make choices to eat well, to exercise my body, mind and soul, when I reach for the life-giving elements and away from toxic elements of life - then a tremendous strength pours through me.

The crux of the matter is choice. In his book, The Path of Least Resistance, Author Robert Fritz suggests that our days are guided by the primary, secondary and tertiary choices that we make. Primary would be like, "I choose to be healthy." Secondary would be, "I choose to exercise to be healthy." Tertiary would be choosing to go for a walk this evening. Each moment along the way will bring us to a "Y" in the path, where one road takes us to the fulfillment of our primary choices while the other sabotages our intentions. 

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant,

but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

(Hebrews 12.11)

The apostle Paul was big on self-discipline. He recognized that walking the path of Love required Spirit-empowered choice and constant vigilance through self-discipline. Like me (and perhaps you) Paul knew that the rebellious two year old was a strong internal voice. He stated in the letter to the Romans, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Rom. 7.15). There's me - knowing who I can be, but falling short of the mark. But Paul does not give up on himself, or on us. He goes on in chapter 12 to say:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed 

by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is:

His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

(Romans 12.2)

In other words, through the power of disciplined choice we can keep that unruly two year old in line, and consequently make choices that allow our brilliance to shine through in world-healing ways. To be true to ourselves is a choice, and it takes tremendous will to realize that choice. It is a lie of the darkness, however, that tells us that we are trapped by our past, unable to grow, unable to choose Love. The work of God's Spirit is the cultivation of life-giving virtue within us: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control..." (Gal 5). We are not alone in this work for Christ stands with us to give us strength and encouragement. And in that light we have choices to make.

So choose Love; choose life. Each moment, as that two year old seduces you with toxic options, turn the other way and be well, and amazing, and beautiful and all that you can be.  This world needs you, because only you can do what you were born to do. Choose well...

I leave the last word to the Greek philosopher, Plato:

"The first and best victory is to conquer self."

Choosing Love with you,

Pastor Bill

the road not taken

wide and easily trod

is waiting

calling

whispering

and powerless

for your

heart

is

of God

Choose

this day

to

Love

Breathe

Pray

[First published April 24, 2013]

No More Darkness

“I am the light of the world.

Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness,

but will have the light of life.” 

(John 18.12)

Push back the darkness.

With all your might, with the intensity of a thousand suns breaking into the blackest night - push back the darkness.

Why is it that we forfeit so much power to the darkness? You know how it is - some fool chooses to commit an act of vandalism and the community reacts by passing laws regarding curfew. A store experiences shoplifting and subsequently the owner harasses any teens seen standing around talking. A few hurtful actions push a community into fear mode and the war against... whatever... is on. Violence, in great or small measure, becomes the impetus for a rebounding flood of negative thought, emotion and action. All hail eye-for-an-eye as we walk around blind.

The recent (1)  bombing in Boston is a close-to-home example. A ripple of fear reverberated across the continent on Monday and the reaction will undoubtedly be stricter laws of some sort; increased vigilance, decreased trust.  Score: darkness 1, light 0.

Perhaps it is part and parcel for being human - that we let one act of hurt outweigh ten thousand acts of kindness and respect. Consider how many people walk into stores in North America every day, and not one of them causes any harm. In fact, many will hold a door open, pick up a dropped parcel for a stranger, give back miscalculated change... millions of acts of kindness every day. You'd think that the tsunami of positive reaction to so much goodness would wipe away the few acts of hurt that occur. But no; two thousand people walk into Walmart on a Saturday; one of them pulls a gun. Just one. The community responds as though the entire two thousand were criminals looking for a place to happen.   

Bah! Humans are crazy... but Love is crazier! I am convinced of Love for I have seen and experienced its healing power. There is some bad stuff happening in our world - lots of really bad stuff, globally and in our own back yards. But all that bad stuff clumped together and put on the scale is small potatoes compared to what God's Love is doing in and through us crazy humans. Around the world today, right now in fact, hundreds of millions of people are living the Love that they are. At this very moment the Spirit of Christ is moving within the hearts of billions. This very second acts of generosity, compassion, understanding and openness are beaming a brilliant light into our world. Jesus said, in Luke 17, that the Kingdom of God is within us (or among us, depending on the translation). What? The power, authority and healing of God's Kingdom is here, now - in you, in me, in her in him? Yup. 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 

(Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches)

We don't have to let the few acts of violence dictate who we are. We don't need a war on drugs, a war on bullying, a war on war. We only need to be true to ourselves, to the Love that is woven into the fabric of our DNA. Our neighbor experiences a home break-in. We could react in fear and all buy security systems, hiding behind locked doors. We could - and score one for the darkness. Or, we could forgive, and realize that Love is brighter than the darkness, stronger than fear, broader, deeper and infinitely more powerful than any violence. We could choose to continue to trust and thrust fear aside.

Remember that Mid-Week Devotion last year on being a "nudger"?  One small random act of kindness nudges back the darkness. Remember the numerous times I have reminded us that we are made in God's image - that image shines through us and pushes back the darkness. We can, like frightened kittens scatter at the first sign of threat, or, like lions we can let out a roar that shakes the forest. That roar proclaims this a day of renewal, of truth, of Love running the score board to infinity. 

On Monday a few people, who have forgotten that they were created for Love, detonated explosive devices that reverberated across the world. Join me in sending a vibration out today that shakes this earth to its core - one built on gratitude, unending forgiveness and mercy; one that shakes violence to its knees. With every person you meet today let Love guide your words, actions and attitudes. Push back the darkness; shake the world.

I leave the last word to author CS Lewis

"Christianity asks us to recognize that the great religious struggle

is not fought on a spectacular battleground,

but within the ordinary human heart, when every morning we awake

and feel the pressures of the day crowding in on us,

and we must decide what sort of immortals we wish to be."

(Mere Christianity)

Pushing with you,

Pastor Bill

A dark place

crumbles

as

light

through a single crack

pours

in

You are that crack

Beam

breathe

be

“There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.” 

(Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems)

(1) [First published April 18, 2013]

The Plain, Old, Everyday Life

"It's not a bad idea

to occasionally spend a little time thinking

about things

you take for granted.

Plain everyday things."

(Evan Davis, BBC host)

The floor under our feet, the air we breathe, the pumping of our heart... we seldom think on these things - until they are in jeopardy or are gone. We walk miles upon this earth rarely considering the solid foundation beneath us, until an earthquake shakes our world. So much at play in the background that sustains life in quiet, subtle ways.

I once asked a woman who had been married 40+ years what a husband was (he was sitting beside her):

"A husband is someone you take for granted."

"Really" I say (with eyebrows raised in surprise)

"Yes - because his care and love are so constant, like the air I breathe, that I never think about it. He is always there for me, supporting me, loving me; I never have to worry about it"

Wow!

So much that gives us life and we give it nary a thought till we must do without it. April 24 will mark two years since my mentor died. Michael was one of those pieces of life that I took for granted. We did not get together often, however, when we did he helped me set my compass, reminded me who I was. Between our visits he faded to the background, and like air and sunshine and love, his presence in this world gave life to me even when I was not thinking about him. I always knew though, in the back of my mind, that he was there, and at a whim I could call him up or send an email and my bubble would return to center. But Michael died, as we all must do, and life goes on. 

Most, perhaps all, of this corporeal world is transitory - it crumbles, fades, and turns to dust over time. The people and the structures that we rely upon for support will some day be gone, and us with them. Not a particularly comforting thought, but it is a helpful reminder that while husbands and wives and mentors and all the other subtle-in-the-background pieces of life are delicious and important, they are not the source of life. All these rely on something older, greater, deeper; these, while life-supporting, rest upon a foundation that is unshakable, unending and infinite in scope and breadth - God's Love. 

"In the beginning God created..." Before all, the absolute "prior," the quintessential start - God's Love. Everything that exists stands upon the foundation of this Love; all of life draws its breath from this Love; our compass, our identity, our centered bubble, these depend upon God's Love. And this is good news for it means that no matter who dies, no matter what changes challenge us, we will endure, more even thrive because Life and Love always surround and suffuse our being.

I miss my mentor - and this is a good thing, for it reminds me to be aware of where I get my strength from. Michael, like so many in my life, was not the source but rather was a funnel, open to God's love pouring through him to me, and many others. I too am a funnel, as are you. We are not the source, rather, we stand upon the source and our Creator's Love pours through us to support, heal and endlessly recreate our world.

So give thanks today for all of the in-the-background pieces of your life that hold you up. Then, take a quiet moment to breathe, to listen to the whisper of Spirit, to feel the thrum of God's life pulsing through your heart. You are alive and Love pours into and through you. You are someone's taken-for-granted support. God is good, life is great, Love is who you are!

I leave the last word to Paul:

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our 

(Romans 8.37-39, NKJ)

In this life with you,

Pastor Bill

Relax

It

Is

In

God's

Hands

All is well

Breathe

Pray

Play

[First published April 10, 2013]

Be a Hero

"Hero recounts rescue of two girls from icy Edmonton river"

(Edmonton, March 31, 2013)

Good news for a change. Amazing news - a man and his dog risk their lives to save two little girls whose sled had slid down onto the river ice. With little thought for his own safety Adam Shaw pulled one little girl from the water, fell in himself, got out and, with help from his dog, pulled the second girl to safety. The lives of those two girls, their family and their friends will never be the same as a consequence of Adam's actions. What a gift to give - as the Gospel of John states, "greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15.13). How much more so when it is for complete strangers.

"Preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words"

(St. Francis of Assisi)

This statement, attributed to St. Francis, is a reminder that our actions are often experienced as the clearest proclamation of our heart. It is one thing to state that little girls in icy rivers should be saved; it is another thing altogether to be in the frigid water with them. What Adam did was a very pure and true example of living out the Gospel - that is, living and expressing faith through actions of healing and renewal. Perhaps our world needs a little less pontificating, a few less sermons, a reduction of lectures, and a whole lot more local heroes feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, housing the homeless, visiting the sick or imprisoned... (see Matthew 25). As I've mentioned in past posts, the simple, day-to-day kindness and compassion that we exercise fulfills all that Christ asked of us (see Mark 12).

Such healing and re-creation can be experienced when each of us acts according to our abilities, in light of the need before us, with boldness and courage. Some of this renewal will be revealed in public ways, such as Adam's life-saving rescue on Sunday. Much of the wholeness of our world, however, will unfold in more subtle ways - building bridges through forgiveness, acceptance, and the growing of respect; recognizing our own prejudice and choosing to see beyond it; paying back evil with good (see 1st Peter 3). 

In light of the voice of the Old Adam/Old Eve, being a local hero presents some challenges. There will be times we will want to turn our back on the needs of others; sometimes it will be inconvenient to act out the Gospel, and some Christ-like actions frankly go against popular opinion and personal belief. But there you have it - that narrow path; if we are to be true to ourselves as creatures of God then we jump into the chilly waters, face the raging rapids and stretch our hand out to the weak, the vulnerable, the needy. 

So be a hero today: forgive someone, encourage someone, help change a tire, buy a cup of coffee, pull a child from the frozen waters of a swollen spring river... every act of kindness, seen or unseen, makes you a hero to someone :-)

I leave the last word to singer/philanthropist, Mariah Carey:

“when you feel like hope is gone,

look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth

that hero lies in you.” 

(Mariah Carey)

In the cold waters with you,

Pastor Bill

The storm swells

winds rage

waves pound

a light beams

into darkness

hope

strength

safety

God's light

shines

through

you

Beam brightly

pray

breathe

laugh

[First published April 3, 2013]

Falling Down .... and Getting Back Up

“You are so weak. Give up to grace.

The ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore.

You need more help than you know.” 

(Rumi)

Have you ever been down on yourself, heard the voice of self-judgment whispering in your ear? It happens to me sometimes and I think, "what a useless lout am I!" Try as I might I am not as gentle or as patient or as self-disciplined or as strong as I want to be. I would like to be what I know I am capable of, but I have not grown to that place yet. Like a toddler  who can crawl and sees the potential for running and leaping and dancing, but after a few faltering steps falls to the floor. That's me. I know about running, leaping and dancing, but I have barely mastered crawling and standing. 

I need to be patient with me; that too is a challenge. Growing into who God intends for us to be is a slow and careful journey. It takes time for God's Love to sand down the rough edges, to smooth away the unnecessary bits; it takes time for experience to ferment into wisdom. Sometimes it seems I am more bits and less wisdom, but that is just the Old Adam talking, the unhelpful voice of the ego. It is always harassing me, telling me I am not good enough. That voice has forgotten about my roots, my origin, my source.

When I am berated by that dark inner voice I go back to the beginning of my story - way back, past my birth, past my parent's births - way, way back. To humanity's birth. There, in the womb of the world God breathed ruach, the Spirit of God's essence into humanity to give us life. Upon our being was imprinted the very mark of God for we were made in God's image. When I become despondent about myself, or about humanity and its ills I go back to Genesis 1 and 2. I go back to the beginning where Love says to me, and to you - "you are made like Me; you are intentionally created full of wonder, full of potential that you have not begun to explore... I look upon you and you are good."

I crawl, I stand, I fall. Again and again. But each falling is a learning, and God never leaves my side, Love's strong words of encouragement filling my ears, urging me to stand again, take another step. So I take a deep breath and go out into the world today. I'm only crawling, but even crawling is a wonder and I trust Genesis 1; I am made like God, full of the power of Love, full of creative potential, and desperately wanting to realize what it means to be a human being crafted by God's hands, filled with God's breath and powered by God's Love.

Falling sucks, but in the falling I am learning about being God's. I am learning about forgiveness, about being held in God's heart; I am learning about something beautiful within me that is slowly growing and glowing and unfolding. I don't know if you can relate to all this rambling, but if you've ever fallen you may understand how deeply we need to hear Love's voice giving us the encouragement to get up, try again, to believe in who made us and the awesome purpose that is our reason for being in this world. We are here to reflect God, to reveal Love, to be healers, builders, creators, renewers. Despite the dark voice, despite grief and disappointment, despite the pain of landing on my butt one more time - I choose to do my best today and to strive ahead, even with faltering steps.

To all you who have fallen,

You have my compassion.

I leave the last word to the Psalmist:

"When I consider your heavens,

    the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

    which you have set in place,

what is humankind that you are mindful of them,

    human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels

    and crowned them with glory and honor.

You made them rulers over the works of your hands;

    you put everything under their feet"

(Psalm 8)

Boldly standing with you,
Pastor Bill

reach up

a hand

reaches for you

a strong hand

holding you

steadying you

a hand

of freedom

safety

love

Breathe

walk

dance

[First published March 27, 2013]