The Color of Motherhood

“Being a mother is an attitude,

not a biological relation.” 

(Robert A. Heinlein, Have Space Suit—Will Travel)

I recall my grade two year with sorrow and admiration for my mother. I struggled with school, afraid of it to the core of my six-year-old being, and it was my mom who was tasked with giving me the strength to face my fears. I remember mornings where I begged my mom to let me stay home: "Just don't make me go today... I'll go tomorrow, but please not today." She made me go, every morning, and how it must have cost her heart to teach me to face the world.

I had difficulty memorizing and consequently spelling was my nemesis (still is - thank goodness for spell check). From grade one on through elementary school my mom would work with me every day after school studying spelling. She bribed me - had a cupboard full of little treats. A teacher by trade, she was determined that I would reach whatever potentials were planted within me. 

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood

is greater than natural laws.” 

(Barbara Kingsolver, Homeland and Other Stories)

My mother's strength filled me in those growing up years. She saw me off to school every morning from K to 12, and was there to greet me after school with a smile and a snack. Mothering was her vocation; as far as I know she never desired anything more. She guided my childhood and teen years with gentleness and patience. She wasn't perfect, was not always what I as a teen thought a mother should be, but her Love was beyond question and the strength of her heart shattered the demons that my young imagination feared.

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother,

that's the only shift they offer.” 

(Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper)

From conception on mothering is all-consuming. It is the most significant expression of Love that humanity may experience, for it bears the power to shape a child's world, to inculcate kindness, courage, honesty, and compassion. Mothering builds lives, sees possibilities, and bears the wounds that growing up must inflict. 

Not everyone is born with a gift for mothering - some struggle with the demands that motherhood levies upon a human heart. For those that enter parenting with trepidation, who are overwhelmed by the tidal wave of need and the weight of its responsibility - for these I have compassion. It takes a village to raise a child, and mothering too, at its best, is a communal endeavor. If a mother is overwhelmed by fate's bequeathing, it is as much the fault of community as it is a personal undoing. 

“All that I am or ever hope to be,

I owe to my angel mother.” 

(Abraham Lincoln)

My mother taught me kindness, to be thankful, to stop and have tea when the sun is shinning through the window on a quiet morning. She mentored me in perseverance, in facing down whatever giants I come up against; she led a simple life devoted to her sons, her husband, and her community. Today I do my utmost to be a healing presence; this is in no small way the flowering of seeds that my mom planted within the heart of an anxious little boy forty years ago. 

Mom turned 91 this fall; I no longer depend upon her to send me out into the world, for I have my own strength now, built upon the foundation that mothering provided so long ago. Love sculpted my being through the gentle touch of a woman, and now I share that same Love as I seek to make a healing difference in the world.

I leave the last word to author, Jodi Picoult:

“My mother... she is beautiful,

softened at the edges

and tempered with a spine of steel.

I want to grow old and be like her.” 

(Jodi Picoult)

The color of motherhood...

Love incarnate.

The gentleness

of sunshine and rain

open

rock-hard seeds

to sprout

grow

flower

and seed.

Open your flower

wide

to the

Sun

Breathe

Laugh

Pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck." (Proverbs 1.8-9)

- From Islam: "One companion asked, 'O Apostle of God! Who is the person worthiest of my consideration?' He replied, 'Your mother.' He asked again, 'And second to my mother?' The Prophet said, 'Your mother.' The companion insisted, 'And then?' The Messenger of God said, 'After your mother, your father.' " (Islam. Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim)

- From Buddhism: "Brethren, one can never repay two persons, I declare. What two? Mother and father." (Anguttara Nikaya i.6l)