The Color of Carrying the World

"She carried an old globe as she walked,

a garage sale find;

carried it as though bearing the earth

but lightly in her hands."

(B. Harder, Random Musings)

I was enjoying coffee with Anna in the Sundre, Alberta cafe one day last summer when I noticed a woman crossing the street. She had a bag in one hand, and in the other she hefted a basketball-sized globe of the earth - the kind we used to have in our elementary classrooms. It was an intriguing image, this woman who walked with purpose, her feet drawn to their destination, and along for the ride... was the whole world.

I've been thinking about this woman and her globe for the last week, pondering the implications of holding the earth lightly in our hands. The image evokes both blessing and indictment. On the one hand we humans have been particularly gifted with innate abilities and tools to bring the earth to marvelous fruition. At our best we tend the earth and its creatures in such a way that all life flourishes. This is blessing.

On the other hand we have chosen lifestyles that take from the earth without giving back. Our level of over, and very much unnecessary, consumption seriously jeopardize the well-being of generations that have not yet been conceived. This is indictment.

“Western civilization is a loaded gun

pointed at the head of this planet.” 

(Terence McKenna)

As a culture we have not only made it acceptable to over-consume, we have made it necessary. Much of our self-image and self-worth are grounded in what we own. In addition, we have created economic systems that depend upon high levels of consumption. To make a living, retail business owners must sell goods - mountains of goods. We the buyers must purchase these goods - and then dispose of them to make room for further consumption.

“The earth will not continue to offer its harvest,

except with faithful stewardship.

We cannot say we love the land

and then take steps to destroy it for use

by future generations.” 

(Pope John Paul II)

Blessing and Indictment. We carry the earth, each of us in our own way. None of us are innocent, none absolutely guilty. We carry the earth - each time we plant a seed and nourish its growth; when we reclaim land disrupted by resource extraction; when we love and care for creatures; when we reduce, reuse, and recycle. We carry the earth in our gratitude, our compassion, and our stewardship.

I see no easy answer to over-consumption in the near future; I too will continue to drive my vehicle, replace broken things in my home, buy clothes, art, tools... but I am aware, when I look at my grandsons, that their children's well-being balances precariously upon my choices.

I leave the last word to scientist, Stephen Jay Gould:

“We have become,

by the power of a glorious evolutionary accident called intelligence,

the stewards of life's continuity on earth.

We did not ask for this role, but we cannot abjure it.

We may not be suited to it,

but here we are.” 

(Stephen Jay Gould, The Flamingo's Smile: Reflections in Natural History)

The color of carrying the world...

obligation and opportunity.

A stranger

handed me a

kitten

I do not know

about

kittens

So I listened

to the

cat

and learned

Pause

Breathe

Listen

To Ponder Further:
- From the Bible: "The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it." (Genesis 2.15)

- From Islam: "Someone said, "O Messenger of God, will we then have a reward for the good done to our animals?" "There will be a reward," he replied, "for anyone who gives water to a being that has a tender heart." (Hadith of Bukhari)

- From Buddhism: "As a mother with her own life guards the life of her own child, let all-embracing thoughts for all that lives be thine." (Khuddaka Patha, Metta Sutta)

The Color of Changing the World, Part II

“Love people who hate you.

Pray for people who have wronged you.

It won’t just change their life…

it’ll change yours.” 

(Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass)

A local funeral director phoned the other day to ask if I would attend to the grief needs of one of their client families. This was above and beyond, care that comes from the heart, not the bottom line. He made a difference in that family's life; he made us all a little better by his kindness.

A year ago Vanessa Smith of St. Catharines, Ontario donated 63% of her liver to a fellow hockey parent in need of a transplant. Vanessa has six children, and she is not afraid to be who she is, and in so doing, to change the course of humanity. 

Last winter Mark Przybylowski and Paula Malolepszy toured the west end of Montreal helping people shovel their cars out of a massive dump of snow. They didn't have to do this... but they did. It was just random acts of kindness that reveal the brilliance of humanity at its best. 

“You are here

in order to enable the world

to live more amply,

with greater vision,

with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.

You are here to enrich the world.” 

(Woodrow Wilson)

While I understand the inclination to engage BMW's (bitching, moaning and whining; not to mention outright complaining), I know that this is not the kind of world changing that expresses humanity's genius. Quite simply, we are better that that. We are creatures filled to the brim with powers that can address our greatest needs, push back the darkness, and give life from other galaxies a reason to meet us. 

“There's always a story. It's all stories, really.

The sun coming up every day is a story.

Everything's got a story in it.

Change the story, change the world.” 

(Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky)

Our words and actions, even our thoughts, and perhaps our feelings - all are choices we get to make. We can choose to complain; or we can choose to live a different story. Well I'm choosing this day to change the story of grumbling to a story of gratitude, kindness, and compassion. Together, we do amazing things. We feed the hungry, provide shelter, care for our world, and initiate countless random of acts of kindness every moment. We will overwhelm the world with such brilliance; overwhelm and heal it. 

“Human potential is amazing.

We have the capacity to create a world that is peaceful;

one that spreads kindness and love rather than hatred.

If we believe it to be so, it will be our truth,

and we will create it.” 

(Kristi Bowman, Journey to One: A Woman's Story of Emotional Healing and Spiritual Awakening)

In the face of political, economic, and ideological uncertainty, perhaps even chaos, the time has never been more ripe for all of us to expose our greatest strengths - gratitude, kindness, and compassion (and perhaps a good helping of playfulness for good measure). Resist the temptation to social media slandering, coffee shop complaining, and the accompanying sense of powerlessness. Instead, be the bright Light and Love that you are created to be. Change the world...

I leave the last word to Sri Chinmoy:

“Do you want to change the world?

Then change yourself first.

Do you want to change yourself?

Then remain completely silent inside the silence-sea.” 

(Sri Chinmoy, Meditation: Man-perfection in God-satisfaction)

The color of changing the world... 

being the real you.

A mirror

can only reveal

that

which stands

before

So too

do

words

unveil

the heart

Breathe

Pray

Love

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4.13)

- From Islam: "Those who act kindly in this world will have kindness." (Qur'an 39.10)

- From Buddhism: "...goodwill alone, which is the heart's release, shines and burns and flashes forth in surpassing them." (Itivuttaka 19)

The Color of Agony

“My wails of sorrow

are tormenting my soul” 

(Jalaluddin Rumi, The Love Poems of Rumi)

The grief work I have been privileged to engage over the years has allowed me to bear witness to a rather remarkable aspect of human brilliance. I stand in awe of our ability to bear the pain of agony; in particular, the heart-wrenching pain of sitting vigil at the bedside of a loved-one as they die. Agony is defined as, "intense physical or mental suffering."

All of you who have had a child, sibling, spouse, parent or friend in end-of-life care understand this agony of the mind (and perhaps more accurately, of the soul). Day after day you sit with a loved-one who is nearing the end of life's journey.  You watch their slow, sometimes very painful decline, unable to take away their suffering, but very much bearing it with them. 

“Agony is not something that happens to you.

To agonize is a choice.” 

(Alan Cohen)

This agony is compounded by conflicting desires - we want the person to continue to live, at the very same time that we want their suffering to come to an end. We don't want to have to say goodbye, and yet we are so bone-weary tired from our vigil that we long for it all to come to an end. It is true agony. 

Even so, mothers and fathers, spouses and friends all around the world are today extending compassion (meaning to suffer with) to someone they love. Perhaps Alan Cohen is correct in his assertion that agony is a choice. We do not have to sit, hour after long hour in the hospital or hospice room. We could leave the care of our loved-ones to the nursing staff. Instead, however, we choose to allow mind, body, heart and soul to be infused with the aroma of life's sometimes violent blossoming into eternity. We choose to become immersed in the tears, moans of pain, and heart-wrenching cries for mercy that leaving this world may illicit. 

This is not to say that all deaths are filled with pain, all passings expressions of nature's seeming violence. Some are quiet and peaceful. Some lives ease out of this corporeal experiment as softly as a summer sunrise. This death, though, this bed-side agony-of-the-soul-passing - this one is filled with hurt.

What then becomes of us who sit vigil? When the last breath rattles from the lungs, eyes finally closing in rest, who are we? We are the ones who are forever changed. Something has been taken from us in our experience of agony - we are emptied in ways that only time will give answer to. Concurrently, though, we are filled, we have become more, for we have survived the crucible. 

“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms

you would never see the true beauty

of their carvings.”
(Elisabeth Kübler-Ross)

The hospital/hospice room is emptied of personal effects; back at home family and friends bring food, kindness, comfort. As evening seeps in you close your eyes in exhaustion... and relief. It is finished. Grief settles upon you, searing and familiar, and your heart, empty and raw, full and overflowing, has been remade. 

What you do in sitting at the bedside of those in their final weeks and days of life is nothing short of miraculous. This vigil reveals you - it shows both the strength and the vulnerability of Love as it pours from your heart. 

Most recently I have been the recipient of the stories of two teenagers whose lives were ended from cancer. Mothers and fathers bore the agony of their children's last days; bore this agony and filled our world to overflowing with the kindness of their Love. Humanity is truly amazing for we are a gift of Light and Love that our world desperately needs. Be the Love that you are... 

I leave the last word to poet, Kahil Gibran:

“Out of suffering

have emerged the strongest souls;

the most massive characters

are seared with scars.” 

(Kahlil Gibran)

The color of agony...

the cost of Love.

To see

not the

pain

but only

the need

not the fear

but only

the

longing

This is

compassion

Weep

Laugh

Pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame... (Romans 5:3-5 )

- From Confucianism: "Whosoever wishes to eliminate completely the sufferings of others through his own sufferings, that is the excellent person." (Book of History 5.9)

- From Islam: "The truly righteous are those who endure with fortitude misfortune, hardship and peril. That is, who are patient in poverty and affliction..."(Quran 2:178)

The Color of Bricks

“A great building will never stand

if you neglect the small bricks.” 

(Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha)

I spoke with an acquaintance recently who worked as a brick layer for forty years. His hands will forever bear the marks of his trade - rough, iron strong, built for work. His body also has been touched by the labors of trowel, level, and mortar. His joints ache; daily reminders of the passion that filled his working days.

Brick layers are our mentors, for they understand the necessity of patience and precision. Buildings constructed of cement blocks or bricks grow from the ground up, one brick at a time. There is simply no way to hurry the process. Mortar is mixed, levels are checked... and a brick is laid. Then another, and another, and another...

Architecture starts

when you carefully put two bricks together.

There it begins.

(Ludwig Mies van der Rohe)

At the end of the day, on a large project, it may look like very little was accomplished. A few rows, carefully, stacked, topping and tailing neatly finished, and a passerby has no idea what the final outcome will look like. So it goes as Love sculpts our lives; it is slow and careful in its work.

In my service as Grief & Bereavement Coordinator I observe that moving into and through our grief is very much like brick laying. Viewed from a daily, weekly, or even monthly perspective it may seem that very little progress is being made. However, healing from grief is tedious work, for in grief our heart and soul must be tended to very carefully, one gentle brick at a time.

Likewise with parenting. Day after day, struggle after struggle, it may seem that we are constructing nothing more than chaos. But each moment of patience, each gentle response to a child flipping their lid is a brick laid in the construction of a child's life. 

So too with each person we encounter - interacting with patience, openness, and compassion adds one more brick to that person's edifice. They become a little more "finished" as it were, more complete. We walk away, unaware that we have been brick and mortar in the architecture of their being.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” 

(Anne Frank, Diary of Anne Frank: the play)

In this life we have been granted an infinite number of bricks with which to build, and an unending supply of mortar. The bricks and mortar of our work are the quintessential qualities that grow us as a species - Love, generosity, forbearance, patience, forgiveness... With these materials we build each other up, strengthening foundations brick by slow brick. 

As you go into your day know that you are changing the lives of the people you meet. How you change them depends upon the bricks that you lay. Using the bricks mentioned above beings healing to humanity - healing that is so much in demand in these uncertain days.

I leave the last word to Archbishop Desmond Tutu:

“Do your little bit of good where you are;

it's those little bits of good put together

that overwhelm the world.” 

The color of bricks...

the art of becoming. 

An arch

is

incomplete

until the

keystone

has been set

Every stone

has its

place

Pray

breathe

Be

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)

- From Confucianism: "Gentleness and goodness are the roots of humanity." (Confucianism. Book of Ritual 38.18)

- From First Nations Wisdom: "My children, listen well. Remember that you are brothers, that the downfall of one means the downfall of all. You must have one fire, one pipe, one war club." (Native American Religions. Hiawatha [Iroquois])

The Color of Grime

“My theory on housework is,

if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire,

or block the refrigerator door,

let it be.

No one else cares.

Why should you?” 

(Erma Bombeck)

I was glancing around the kitchen one morning, from the living room, with the un-revealing grey light of a cloudy morning pouring in. The kitchen looked pretty good - from a distance. No big smudges, stains, drips, or spills screaming to be wiped up. I appreciate my home being tidy, and this part of it at least put me to rest.

Then the light changes. The clouds part, and brilliant sunshine bursts in; or the interior lights are turned on, and suddenly what has just seemed so clean is now glaringly messy. The stainless steel is dotted with fingerprints, the fridge door - let's not get started, and the counter top and back-splash are begging for a damp cloth's caress. 

“Excuse the mess,

but we live here.” 

(Roseanne Barr)

It takes a truly fastidious housekeeper to stand tall when their kitchen lays naked under a bright light. I'm not that person. It all makes me think though of the smudges, drips, and spills that be-spot my being. From a distance, in small doses and at the right moment, I can appear fairly neat and tidy on the inside. Under a bright and revealing light, though, one discovers a different story unfolding.

I have picked up a lot of emotional grime over the years - bits of mud and clay sticking to me. Sometimes it feels as though the tarnish is so heavy that very little of the material beneath shows through. You know how it is - you begin to feel down about yourself, and about life in general. You question your self-worth, your purpose, even your connection to family and friends. 

This, though, is not the end of the story. Come back to the kitchen with me for a moment and step into a cooking space that has not been cleaned for years. An oily-dusty smudge covers everything; something that was once food is cooked and/or dried on the stove and counter top. So what? Does this mean that the stainless steel beneath the grime is not stainless steel anymore? That the granite counter is no longer granite? Of course not.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others

until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” 

(Malcolm X)

Regardless of the grime, the essential quality of that which lies beneath the mess remains untouched. So too with me... and you. The mud and clay that we collect over life does not define us. Underneath the soot of our experiences we are created by Love, for Love, to be Love. We are created from something elemental, and are thus immutable in our essence. 

A little spit and polish is all it takes to make the stainless steel shine once again; it was there all along, just below a little muck. It is the same for us - just below the mud shines the brilliance that is truly you. Take courage, trust that it is there, and do all that you can today to let Love be seen in all that you are and do.

I leave the last word to Nic Sheff:

“As long as you look for someone else

to validate who you are by seeking their approval,

you are setting yourself up for disaster.

You have to be whole and complete in yourself.

No one can give you that.

You have to know who you are -

what others say is irrelevant.” 

(Nic Sheff)

The color of grime...

the doorway to buried treasure.

  

Scrape away

the mud and clay

the grit

the tarnish

the dust

A treasure waits

to be found

this day

Dig deep

look deep

and trust

Breathe

Trust

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139.13)

- From Confucianism: "Gentleness and goodness are the roots of humanity." (Book of Ritual 38.18)

- From Islam: "Every child is born of the nature of purity and submission to God." (Hadith of Bukhari)

The Color of Inspiration

 “Our chief want

is someone who will inspire us

to be what we know we could be.” 

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Recently I officiated at a funeral for a man who died from depression. Ironically, while struggling with his own darkness he was a brilliant light for those who knew him. His Facebook posts were filled with encouragement and inspiration. Even so, the light that he shared with others did not seem to filter through the cracks to lift up his own heart.

For whatever reason, there are days that are just hard to get through - too much to do days, grief days, anxious days, fighting the darkness days... just plain old hard days. Like this man recently deceased, we've all faced our share of such days – hunching our shoulders against the stress, our coat wrapped tight against life's storms. We’ve trudged into the morning’s tempest hoping only for survival. And from where does the strength for survival come? 

When I am clinging precariously to the cliff of my hard days I look for a bit of encouragement to keep me going. A kind word goes a long way in bolstering the spirit, in piercing a difficult day's darkness. In fact, I am sometimes taken aback at the power a word of encouragement has to turn the tide. A word of thanks can make one's work seem worth the effort. Reminding someone that they are appreciated can cut through the fog of despair. The simple sharing of compassion may be the bridge that carries us across the seemingly impassable chasm of our struggles.

“If you're reading this...

Congratulations, you're alive.

If that's not something to smile about,

then I don't know what is.” 

(Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head)

On my hard days what I really want is someone who will remind me that Love is within and around me, that I have the strength I need for this day, that storms pass, that I am not alone. When the path ahead appears too steep and rough for my tired feet I look for that voice that knows me deep inside, knows my power, knows the reserves I have not begun to tap. I listen for words that affirm that I can do so much more than I've ever imagined. Life has lots of terribly challenging stuff in it - gut-wrenching-tear-us-apart stuff; but none of life's stuff is greater than Love at work within us.

So - if today is one of your hard days I am telling you that you will make it through. You are filled with gifts and wisdom, enough - more than enough, to keep you going. Take one moment at a time, breathe deeply, and with your head held high - don't quit. 

Look for every opportunity today to be encouraged, to be in-spired (which means to be filled with spirit, with the breath of life). At the same time, as you are filled, offer encouragement - sometimes an innocent word from a stranger is the inspiration that carries us forward. A phone call, an email, a text, a note - just might make all the difference in somebody's hard day. 

I leave the last word to musician, Ed Sheeran:

“Everything will be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, then it's not the end.” 

(Ed Sheeran)

The color of inspiration…

memory of the sun in the darkness of night.

It is a lie

that the sun

is gone

Clouds

have always

been

liars

Because we do not sense it

Does not

Mean

It is not

there

Hold tight

breathe

pray

To Ponder Further:- From the Bible: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

- From Japanese Tenriism: "I created you human beings because I desired to see you lead a joyous life." (Ofudesaki 14.25)

- Hinduism: "The Infinite is the source of joy. There is no joy in the finite. Only in the Infinite is there joy. Ask to know the Infinite." (Chandogya Upanishad 7.23)

The Color of Anxiety

“I promise you

nothing is as chaotic as it seems.

Nothing is worth diminishing your health.

Nothing is worth poisoning yourself

into stress, anxiety, and fear.” 

(Steve Maraboli, Un-apologetically You)

You know how it is... the grass needs mowing, something on a vehicle or in the house needs fixing, you haven't visited "what's-their-lips" in a coon's age, the laundry's waiting, your paying job wants you to work overtime, and it feels like you just can't keep up.  

Ever rowed that boat - where keeping everything fixed, cleaned, organized, and attended to takes more than you have in you? Stress builds up, sleep is hard to come by, and every part of your body is screaming at you that you need to breathe and slow down before your ticker blows a gasket.  

Anna and I have sailed these seas off and on over the years. A couple of years ago we asked ourselves a question that stopped the room from spinning for a moment: "will any of this worry matter in 20 years?" Well, some of what we do today will impact the road ahead - the forgiveness that we initiate; kindness to a neighbor; standing up to something that is unjust; the day-to-day care of family and friends; these things are stones cast into the waters of life that create long-lasting ripples.  

Consider though, all of the worry we generate around our day-to-day living. Drive faster becuase we might be five minutes late. Really?! In 20 years that will matter to anyone? We get ourselves all tied up in knots over aspects of our day that have no power to improve our quality of life. There are things that do need to be done to live well, and then there is all the rest that, 20 years down the road, will be long forgotten - dust in the attic of life's memories.  

In our North American hyper-anxiety we purchase things we do not need, work longer hours to pay for these things, and then worry that we do not have time to use them. According to statistics we are wound up way too tight with no idea how to undo our worry. 

“Anxiety is love's greatest killer.

It makes others feel as you might

when a drowning man holds on to you.

You want to save him,

but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” 

(Anaïs Nin) 

Perhaps there is an answer though. We could stop caring about the unimportant bits, and choose instead to be attentive to the rich life that calls to us. This is a life in which care of self becomes the model for care of our neighbor. This is the life in which "new and bigger" takes a back seat to coffee with a friend, a walk at sunset, or a meal with someone who is lonely.  I experience the richness of life, not in the rat-race for more money or more stuff - or for more busyness. I discover abundant life in being present to the beauty of a moment, being aware of the plight of those I meet, using my gifts right now to do what I can to encourage others, to heal our world. 

If you are feeling like the demands of life are eating away at you perhaps you need to ask, "will this matter in 20 years?" and "does this really improve my quality of life right now?"  If the answer to either question is "no" then I'd be inclined to say, "let it go; it's not worth the worry."  

YOU are beautiful, and the world needs your beauty to shine as brightly as it can, for there is only one of you, only one person with your gifts and wisdom, only one who can change the world for the better as you can. So let go of anything that holds you back; be attentive to what is truly of value in your day.  

I leave the last word to Jesus of Nazareth: 

"Therefore I tell you,

do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more important than food,

and the body more important than clothes?"

(Matthew 6:25-34)

The color of Anxiety...

suffocation of the heart.

I worried

about

tomorrows

that

might never

arrive

while

missing

todays

that would

never

repeat

Breathe

Listen

Be

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippinas 4.6-7)

- From Sikhism: "Should anyone be victim of great anxiety, his body racked with maladies, beset with problems of home and family, with pleasure and pain
alternating, wandering in all four directions without peace or rest; should he then contemplate the Supreme Being, Peaceful shall his mind and body become." 

(Adi Granth, Sri Raga, M.5, p. 70)

- From African Traditional: "Our Father, it is thy universe, it is thy will: Let us be at peace, let the souls of the people be cool. Thou art our Father, remove all evil from our path." (Nuer Prayer - Sudan)