The Color of Grime

“My theory on housework is,

if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire,

or block the refrigerator door,

let it be.

No one else cares.

Why should you?” 

(Erma Bombeck)

I was glancing around the kitchen one morning, from the living room, with the un-revealing grey light of a cloudy morning pouring in. The kitchen looked pretty good - from a distance. No big smudges, stains, drips, or spills screaming to be wiped up. I appreciate my home being tidy, and this part of it at least put me to rest.

Then the light changes. The clouds part, and brilliant sunshine bursts in; or the interior lights are turned on, and suddenly what has just seemed so clean is now glaringly messy. The stainless steel is dotted with fingerprints, the fridge door - let's not get started, and the counter top and back-splash are begging for a damp cloth's caress. 

“Excuse the mess,

but we live here.” 

(Roseanne Barr)

It takes a truly fastidious housekeeper to stand tall when their kitchen lays naked under a bright light. I'm not that person. It all makes me think though of the smudges, drips, and spills that be-spot my being. From a distance, in small doses and at the right moment, I can appear fairly neat and tidy on the inside. Under a bright and revealing light, though, one discovers a different story unfolding.

I have picked up a lot of emotional grime over the years - bits of mud and clay sticking to me. Sometimes it feels as though the tarnish is so heavy that very little of the material beneath shows through. You know how it is - you begin to feel down about yourself, and about life in general. You question your self-worth, your purpose, even your connection to family and friends. 

This, though, is not the end of the story. Come back to the kitchen with me for a moment and step into a cooking space that has not been cleaned for years. An oily-dusty smudge covers everything; something that was once food is cooked and/or dried on the stove and counter top. So what? Does this mean that the stainless steel beneath the grime is not stainless steel anymore? That the granite counter is no longer granite? Of course not.

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others

until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” 

(Malcolm X)

Regardless of the grime, the essential quality of that which lies beneath the mess remains untouched. So too with me... and you. The mud and clay that we collect over life does not define us. Underneath the soot of our experiences we are created by Love, for Love, to be Love. We are created from something elemental, and are thus immutable in our essence. 

A little spit and polish is all it takes to make the stainless steel shine once again; it was there all along, just below a little muck. It is the same for us - just below the mud shines the brilliance that is truly you. Take courage, trust that it is there, and do all that you can today to let Love be seen in all that you are and do.

I leave the last word to Nic Sheff:

“As long as you look for someone else

to validate who you are by seeking their approval,

you are setting yourself up for disaster.

You have to be whole and complete in yourself.

No one can give you that.

You have to know who you are -

what others say is irrelevant.” 

(Nic Sheff)

The color of grime...

the doorway to buried treasure.

  

Scrape away

the mud and clay

the grit

the tarnish

the dust

A treasure waits

to be found

this day

Dig deep

look deep

and trust

Breathe

Trust

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139.13)

- From Confucianism: "Gentleness and goodness are the roots of humanity." (Book of Ritual 38.18)

- From Islam: "Every child is born of the nature of purity and submission to God." (Hadith of Bukhari)