“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
(Friedrich Nietzsche)
There are certain people in our lives who radically alter the course of our trajectory. My wife is one of those people to me. When first meeting Anna 22 years ago I could not have imagined the gift that her companionship would unfold to be. Anna married a man covered in rough edges, a person who did not know himself well and who was prone to impatience and stubbornness. Through these years her friendship has been God's polishing stone for my soul. She may not have been aware of it, but her gifts, and her personal challenges, have been exactly what was needed for my heart to grow. Many times she may justly have questioned why she was with me; I can tell you that her presence in my life has been the catalyst for much of my awakening. If I have evolved, if my being has known any metamorphosis, the price has been paid in great part by my beloved.
I suppose that's how it works - that God's hand reaches out to sculpt us by way of the people who share our journey. Family, friends, neighbors, those we love and those we loathe - God works away at our jagged edges, carefully chipping off the bits that are no longer needed, revealing the perfection of His love in His handiwork. The gentleness of our journey-mates can soothe the beast within, healing and nurturing our heart. Concurrently, the rough shards that make up the broken pieces of other's lives also teach us, hone us, grow us. In fact, the butterfly within the cocoon of our being will emerge only as we are purified by Love's encounter with all that humanity expresses.
understands where you have been,
accepts what you have become,
and still, gently allows you to grow.”
(William Shakespeare)
Slowly, carefully, I am becoming me, and in no small part due to the constancy of Anna's companionship. In the mirror of her love I have seen my worst and my best, marveled at my potential, and wept for the fool that I so often embody. And still that mirror bravely stands beside me to walk into the unknown of tomorrow. Is that not who Christ is - the one who stands beside us, within us, often carrying us, no matter what the path, no matter how steep, how rocky? Is the Love of Christ not a mirror to our soul revealing our sin, disclosing the wonders of God's imprint? Anna is Christ to me every day. Her hard days challenge me, her strength becomes my strength.
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you.”
(A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh)
The people in our lives are our strength - through their care and by way of their rough edges God teaches us, unfolds us, makes and remakes us. Take time this week to offer a word of gratitude to the people who have changed the trajectory of your life.
I leave the last word to the writer of Ecclesiastes:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, a friend can help them up.
But pity the person who falls and has no one to help them up!
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Working on the bits and edges with you,
Pastor Bill
A gentle touch
sands us
a smile
a kind word
smooths
the edges
beauty within
as
marble
chips away
God's hand
upon
our
being
Breathe
Be
Pray
[First published May 1, 2013]
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