The Color Of Being Wrong

“Everybody is wrong about everything,

just about all the time.” 

(Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto)

Fairly frequently I discover that I am completely wrong about something - you know, little things like some statistic or a bit of trivia, or a corrupted a memory file of some event; occasionally about something more significant like how to be a good husband or father. My 17-year-old son does not hesitate to inform me when I am in error. My wife too is bold in correcting any misguided assumptions I may fabricate. I'm not really fond of being told that I'm wrong; it pokes a number of my buttons, and for this I am grateful for it is in those moments that I have a chance to grow.

“There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: 

one is when you're wrong and you can't face it;

the other is when you're right and nobody else can face it.” 

(Criss Jami, Diotima, Battery, Electric Personality)

It is a truly ego-busting experience to face one's imperfections. In my case, admitting that I am in error threatens a bit of the shaky ground upon which my ego makes its stand. "What did you have for supper last Monday?" I might be asked. "Soup" is my reply, until I am corrected by someone with a clearer memory who reminds me that roast beef was served at that evening meal. For just a moment I find my reality unsettled - if I am wrong about this detail am I slipping on others as well? Am I losing it? 

In recognizing fallibility, though, I am coming to realize that who I am is not about how right, accurate, or precise I am. I make mistakes, often and regularly; it is a part of my persona. So be it. "To err is human..." and I am all of that. Being able to acknowledge to my family, or to anyone for that matter, that I am incorrect about something is a bit of grace in the world. It tells them that maybe it's okay for them also to be wrong sometimes, that the sky won't come crashing down if we are not right about everything all the time. Correct or incorrect does not define me - my heart defines me, Love defines me. 

“The best of us must sometimes eat our words.” 

(J.K. Rowling)

I am making it a spiritual practice to embrace being corrected. I am new at this, I still react, the preservation instinct demanding that my perception of reality be the only one. Sometimes, though, I am able to just let it go, to smile and breathe and be thankful for the boldness of others to show me the error of my ways. The best antidote to the stubborn, argumentative and must-be-right parts of myself is to commit to listening to what others are saying - really, deeply listening. If I'm trying to be right I've probably turned off my ears. If I am attuned to hearing what the other person is saying I probably have little energy to divert into being right.

Do you need to be right? When someone close to you is wrong do you delight in correcting them? If so, you have my compassion - it's a hard road this growing as a human. How about joining with me and allowing being wrong to be a part of your spiritual journey? And a part of this is, of course, letting others be wrong and when it is not about life and death, not correcting them. Just being quiet, and gentle, and smiling and Loving them. 

I leave the last word to author and businessman Donald Hicks:

“To make mistakes or be wrong is human.

To admit those mistakes

shows you have the ability to learn,

and are growing wiser.” 

(Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness)

The color of being wrong...

humility in action.

Admit

you are

wrong

to a child

and teach

them

how

to

learn

Love

Breathe

Pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13.4-5)

- From Buddhism: "The man who foolishly does me wrong, I will return to him the protection of my most ungrudging love; and the more evil comes from him, the more good shall go from me." (Siddhartha Gautama Buddha)

The Color of Passion

“I want to know what passion is.

I want to feel something strongly.” 

(Aldous Huxley, Brave New World)

I have a grudging respect for the adherents of ISIS. It is not their actions that impress me, nor their ideology, for both birth great hurt into our world. Rather, it is the raw passion of the movement that inspires my appreciation. Merriam Webster defines passion as, "a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something." Theologically, passion is that power which opens the heart to hurt-with, as in the passion of Christ. The men and women of ISIS definitely have a strong feeling about their beliefs, and they hurt with the purpose of their cause, be it ever so misdirected.

It is no wonder that young people from around the world have been drawn to ISIS. Our youth and young adults are attracted to the energy of passion - moths to the fire as it were. The brutality of ISIS may be overlooked when it is hidden behind the raging fires of an ignited passion. For some it is more desirable to burn intensely for the wrong reason than to not burn at all.

“The saddest people I've ever met in life

are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all.

Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand,

and without them, any happiness is only temporary,

because there's nothing to make it last.” 

(Nicholas Sparks, Dear John)

What passions are we demonstrating for the upcoming generation? A love of big houses and jacked-up trucks? Political infighting and partisan arguing? Have we demonstrated a bone-deep desire to give our lives for a cause that could actually change our world for the better?

According to the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians, the fruits of the Spirit are Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. These are the qualities humanity expresses when we are open to Love working through us. What would happen if we were as passionate about living out these ideals as ISIS is about living out theirs? Perhaps the youth of ISIS would be seeking us out...

“As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” 

(Pablo Neruda)

I have met many impassioned people - men and women who shine a brilliant light, who inspire, who would die to bring an ounce of healing to the hungry. Regardless of creed or color there are those who burn so hotly that all who come near are inflamed by their passion. This is what we are built for - this heat, this raging fire that would spend our incarnation in an instant if it would burn away the world's ills. 

What inspires you? For what is your passion ignited? Does your heart smolder, all smoke and no heat, or do you blaze? The Divine within you would kindle an unquenchable heat if only fanned by Love's desire. Let us, all together, shine so brightly for the good things, for healing, and new life, that the dim fire of ISIS sputters in comparison. Let us be the light that draws our youth back to us.

I leave the last word to Paul, whose passion was for unity of Spirit:

"Complete my joy by being of the same mind,

having the same love,

being in full accord and of one mind."

(Philippians 2:2)

The color of passion...

purifying fire.

A spark

on dry tinder

enflames

a forest

when

fanned

to

life

be

someone's

spark

Breathe

Pray

Laugh

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God." (Psalm 84.2)
- From African Traditional Religion: "One who stays in the shade does not know the sun's heat." (Igala Proverb, Nigeria)

- From Islam: The believer who participates in human life, exposing himself to its torments and suffering, is worth more than the one who distances himself from its suffering.
(Hadith of Ibn Majah)

The Color of Hatred

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” 

(Martin Luther King Jr., A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.)

I cannot recall ever hating someone. I've disliked some people, been angry, frustrated, resentful towards a few individuals over the years, but no hatred. Hatred frightens me for its power and intensity. The dictionary defines hatred as, "intense dislike or ill will," its synonyms including loathing, detestation, abhorrence, and abomination. It is altogether a state of hurt and separation.

It is also a profoundly common human experience. Countless millions have fallen into (chosen, become captive to, been taught to) hate, and as a consequence every possible atrocity has been inflicted upon humanity. When we hate, the focus of our hatred becomes objectified, opening the door to the darkest of human brutality.

“Hate,

it has caused a lot of problems in the world,

but has not solved one yet.” 

(Maya Angelou)

I wonder about the power of hate - its source, what sustains it. I suppose there are theological explanations; perhaps even psychological or physiological determinants, however, I find that the raw power of hatred is almost beyond definition.

There is an idea, though, that does tweak my interest - that hatred is the obverse of Love, or as some have called it, Love turned in on itself. I am open to this for I see in hatred a similar power and passion as I experience in Love. It is as though hatred is Love's doppelgänger, a ghostly opposite. 

Where Love infinitely creates and re-creates, heals and restores, hate infinitely destroys. Where Love builds up, hate tears down. What they have in common is an intensity of focus and a quintessential commitment to completion. Love never stops; so too hatred.

I am utterly convinced that the only antidote to hatred is Love. While "like dissolves like" in the physical world, in soulful realm of Light and dark, it is Love power of wholeness that will undue the chaos of hate. 

This all comes to bear as we are regularly bombarded by news stories of hatred's rampage. More hatred will not stop ISIS. More hatred will not stop prejudice, injustice, or any of humanity's many ills. There is but one road to healing, and it is the universe-generating power of Love.

Let all that you do be done in love.

(1 Corinthians 16:14)

Let us all be vigilant in our self-awareness, that hatred does not slip through the backdoor of our thoughts. Let us not fall prey to justifying hurtful actions under a false banner of justice. Lover bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and Love WILL outlast hatred's brief flash in the pan.

I leave the last word to the apostle John, who gives us this warning:

Whoever says he is in the light

and hates his brother

is still in darkness.

(1 John 2:9)

The color of hatred...

a smile with teeth.

Be infected

every cell

every molecule

every particle

of your being

with

Love

and let

the contagion

spread

Pray

beam

be

To Ponder Further:

From the Bible: "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:8)

From Bahá’í: "Religious fanaticism and hatred are a world-devouring fire, whose violence none can quench. The Hand of Divine power can, alone, deliver mankind from this desolating affliction" (Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, CXXXII)

From Islam: “O You who believe! Enter absolutely into peace (Islam). Do not follow in the footsteps of satan. He is an outright enemy to you.” (Holy Quran: 2, 208)

The Color of Roots

“A tree stands strong not by its fruits or branches,

but by the depth of its roots.” 

(Anthony Liccione)

A few weeks ago I moved our potted English ivy in order to clean behind it. In so doing I discovered that most of the leaves on the back of the plant had died. In fact, only a facade of health presented itself on the front side. It was mostly dead; mostly, but not quite. Clearly there was a problem with the roots, the bulk of them decayed within the mystery of the soil. 

I was tempted to simply toss the ivy into our compost barrel, however, I wanted to salvage something of this once beautiful plant, and so I clipped a handful of healthy vines and popped them into a jar of water. The rest of the plant went outside (it was March, with nighttime temperatures well below zero Celsius, and the crazy ivy refused to give up the ghost - it's still living!). Within a couple of weeks the jar was filling with new roots. 

This is truly a miracle in my eyes - that life so hungers for growth, for possibilities, for roots. This weekend I will pot these tender shoots, surrounding them with moist, rich humus, the foundation within which the next incarnation of this English ivy will grow.

It is hard place to be - rootless. The ivy vines would be long brown by now had they not sent roots tendrilling into the water, reaching for life, for renewal. So too with us human-beings. We need roots. 

There are times in life when we are cut off from our roots. Perhaps they were not well-grounded, were rotten in some way; maybe circumstances caused our roots to be severed. Either way, when dislocated from that which grounds us the fruit of our life begins to whither.

“I'm planting a tree

to teach me to gather strength

from my deepest roots.” 

(Andrea Koehle Jones, The Wish Trees)

Of what are your roots composed? Beliefs? Relationships and community? Self-image? Love? Christ? What grounds you? What forms your roots? Are they nourishing your whole being - body, soul, heart, and mind? If they are not, perhaps it is time to take a cutting and begin to grow new shoots. There are times when severing the old for the sake of life is the most desirable choice.

Regardless of the nature of your own roots, the universal soil in which we all find our well-being is the loam of Love. When we delve deep into the miracle and mystery of Love's power we can realize unending potential for growth, healing, and new life.

"For there is hope for a tree, When it is cut down,

that it will sprout again, And its shoots will not fail.

"Though its roots grow old in the ground

And its stump dies in the dry soil,

at the scent of water it will flourish

and put forth sprigs like a plant.

(Job 14:7-9)

You are a miracle, for life pulses through your whole being, even in the midst of hardships and challenges. Life pours into and through you, touching the people around you, setting off a vibration like dominoes bumping against each other. When your roots are strong, nourished in good soil, then the dominoes that topple before you represent the healing of the world. Know that in this day you have the power to make a difference in someone's life because of your roots, your leaves and branches, your fruit.

I leave the last word to the Psalmist: 

"O God of hosts, turn again now, we beseech You;

Look down from heaven and see,

and take care of this vine,

Even the shoot which Your right hand has planted..."

(Psalms 80:14-15)

The color of roots...

as be the roots, so be the tree.

Storm ravaged branch and trunk

find hope

far

below the ground

in

near-forgotten

roots

Grow

breathe

pray

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.: (Psalm 1.3)

- From common lore: “I love your roots, not the flower everybody sees!” (Akilnathan Logeswaran)

- From Native American lore: 

"One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said "my son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. 

One is evil. It is anger,

envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

the grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

Which wolf wins?...

the old Cherokee simply replied, 'the one that you feed'"

The Color of Stormy Weather

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.” 

(Vivian Greene)

Yesterday the temperature reached +20 Celsius in Camrose; that's a very warm day for March 31st. Blue skies and summer breezes are easy to take after a winter of uncertain weather patterns. Today, on the other hand, it is 0 degrees with blowing snow and sleet. Gone are the blue skies, shorts and t-shirts... and I Love it.

Which is not to say that I have a particular affinity to blowing snow or storms, but that I realize that Loving whatever conditions surround me is so much more healing than resenting them. I have discovered that my attitude toward the state of things outside of myself does little to change those things. Acceptance or resentment, the storm rages on.

“There is peace even in the storm” 

(Vincent van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh)

What does happen as a consequence of my attitude affects my heart, my being. Hating the weather, or any circumstance of my life for that matter, simply breeds more resentment, and all of that negative energy settles into the fibers of my heart. I find it all too easy to be resentful, and the more that I indulge such thoughts the greater the purchase their roots find in my awareness.

"It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person,

but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."

(Matthew 15.11)

I sometimes find myself complaining about the weather, the government, the news, my family... the list goes on, and I must earnestly ask myself, "will I make my world a better place by bitching about it?" Of course, the answer is NO! However, giving thanks in the face of hardship, taking ownership of my thoughts and feelings, and learning to be Love no matter what the circumstance - these things do change our world, one heart at a time.

Take stock today - do you find yourself repeatedly complaining about something or someone? All you are doing is eroding your own well-being. Humanity does not need another eroded person, humanity needs the best you that you can be. Let go of resentment - really, just let it go. In it's place fill your thoughts with gratitude, compassion, and wonder at the spices of life.

I leave the last word to the Apostle Peter:

"Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling,

but on the contrary, bless,

for to this you were called,

that you may obtain a blessing."

(1 Peter 3.9)

The color of storms...

standing in the face of the gale

and letting the wind blow through you.

Iron

sharpens

iron

Love

sharpens

soul

Be the iron

of Love

to all

whom you

meet

Dance

in the

storm

To Ponder Further:

- From the bible: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." (Romans 12.12)
- From Confucianism: “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” (Confucius)

- From Native American wisdom: "Help me always to speak the truth quietly, to listen with an open mind when others speak, and to remember the peace that may be found in silence." (Cherokee Prayer)

The Color of Adolescence

“Maturity is when your world opens up

and you realize that you are not the center of it.” 

(M.J. Croan)

They're a bit dusty, however, an attic full of teen-year memories lay boxed-up and awaiting unpacking at the least provocation; parenting a 17-year-old seems to be provocation enough. I remember... things that make me smile, things my parents never knew, things I wish I could forget... I remember being adolescent with all of its concurrent turbulence. Where did the years go?!

Dictionary.com defines adolescence as follows: "the transitional period between puberty and adulthood in human development, extending mainly over the teen years and terminating legally when the age of majority is reached; youth." Many parents of teens define adolescence as a period of uncertainty and parental frustration. I am inclined to a perspective that includes the above mentioned definitions, and adds to them that it is a time of wonder, of exploration, of testing the waters, of unfolding sexuality, sensuality, and intimacy; it is about rapid cell growth, growing pains, bottomless appetites, and clothes that don't fit. Adolescence is where humanity learns to weave the cloth of community as friendships take center-place over family, and family seeps into the crevices to become the bedrock of emotional, social, and spiritual development. 

“Adolescence is like having only enough light

to see the step directly in front of you.”

(Sarah Addison Allen, The Girl Who Chased the Moon)

Those teen years are truly a walking-on-shifting-sands, crazy time of life; an in between time where one is almost, but not quite. Moving out of childhood, yet not unfolded into the adult world. I am tempted to think that there is no period of life that is quite like it. Tempted that is until I consider mid-life. Forty-something might best be described as a second adolescence; no longer 30-still-have-full-warranty young, not quite ready to cash in those pension funds. A time of change and changing perspectives and priorities wherein both my past 30-year-old and my future 70-year-old selves might question the wisdom of my choices. It is truly a "transitional period between..."

Perhaps all of life, each decade and their accompanying possibilities and limitations, is transitional. We are forever moving towards, and concomitantly moving away from parts of our path. Wisdom continues to color our understandings, sometimes with great sweeping strokes, often with subtle and deft movements. When I think of Alexander and his 17-year-old life there are moments when I want to hurry him into adulthood. I want him to drive slower, pay more attention to his responsibilities, be more like me; be more adult; be less teens. How sad that I want him to rush through a moment of life that will never be re-lived. 

“How can growing up really be about falling down?” 

(Janet Turpin Myers, Night-swimming)

Alexander needs mentoring, patience, and understanding from those who've already surpassed his level of the game of life. So too do I need mentoring from those who are no longer mid-life adolescents. I will likely have a few more sleepless nights waiting for a creaking door to announce the safe arrival home of my nocturnal boy. There might be a call or two from the local constabulary regarding some minor infraction of the law. I am happy to endure it all if it means that Alexander can fully, and safely, explore all that it means to be in between childhood and adulthood. He gets one shot at it - and Anna and I have one shot at being in it with him. So too all of us, in every stage of life - one chance to do our best, to fail, to fall, to try again. 

We need, all of us, to live life where we are. Each place in life is unique and wondrous, and terrible - all at once. We do not get to see very far down the path; one step directly in front is all that is lit up, for teens, and 30's, and 60's and 90's. So be patient with those who follow behind you, and open yourself to the teachings of those who walk ahead. 

I leave the last word to the Apostle Paul, who encourages us to encourage each other:

"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you,

with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another..."

(Colossians 3.16)

The color of adolescence...

being and becoming.

We have always

been

perfect

right

where we

are

Just Be

Breathe

Pray

Love

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." 

(1 Corinthians 13.11)
- From Buddhism: "Although his parents were unwilling and tears poured down their cheeks, the recluse Gotama, having cut off hair and beard and donned saffron robes, went forth from home into homelessness. (Digha Nikaya i.115)

- From Sikhism: "As the child, according to its natural disposition, commits thousands of faults, the father instructs and slights, but again hugs him to his bosom. 

(Adi Granth, Sorath, M.5)

The Color of Dreams

“Twenty years from now

you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

(H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You)

When I was fifteen I wanted nothing more in the world than to grow up to be a marine biologist. To that end I took extra bio courses in high school, planned out my post-secondary education with the guidance counselor, and joyfully anticipated my forthcoming studies at the Bamfield Institute on Vancouver Island. I never went to Bamfield; nor did I enroll in any post-secondary biology courses that would open the doors to a marine biology career. For reasons I still do not understand, my steps veered onto a different path.

Concurrently, fermenting in the background of my dreams was a desire to farm. My folks owned a quarter of land north of Westlock which they rented out; this would have been an excellent start to a life on the land. This ambition was derailed, however, when dad sold the quarter-section while I was yet a teen. As the decades passed my yearning for farming remained a low flame among my passions, not quite extinguished, never truly catching fire. 

Do you have unexplored dreams? Whenever my dad watched figure skating on TV when I was a kid he'd say to me, "Don't you wish you could do that, Bill?" I didn't, and the real question was, "do you wish you could do that, dad?" My dad owned a pair of men's figure skates (circa 1940!) but I never saw him use them. 

If you are honest with yourself right now, what would you say is your true desire in life? What are your dreams for work, family, community? In a no-holds-barred fantasy with unlimited time and resources, what would you be doing if you were living your dream?

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve:

the fear of failure.” 

(Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist)

Well here's the kicker - our dreams are not simply mental fluff. That which we envision in our thoughts arises from the possibilities of our heart and soul. Our dreams are the effervescence of our gifts waiting to take form, looking for an incarnation wherein the very best of us will touch this world. Dismissing our dreams as impossible, out of reach foolishness is to deny the very essence of Love's work within us. For from where do the unending possibilities of the dream world arise, if not from Spirit?

“Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird,

That cannot fly.” 

(Langston Hughes)

Dreams though are not about winning lotteries and get-rich-quick schemes. Dreams are built from the labor of Love; from the commitment to build life's monument one stone at a time. The difference between the ones who have seen their dreams come to reality, and those who whose dreams are cold ashes is thus: dream builders stay the course no matter what, they want that dream above all else, they give all of themselves to the fulfillment of their hopes.

Do you have a dream? Are you pursuing it with all that you've got? If not, why? Why settle for anything less than the full expression of the beauty that is you? Why hold your gifts, your possibilities back from this world that needs you so badly? The fulfillment of our dreams is not just about us, for what we do from the heart we do for the well-being of family, community, and all of humanity.

So dream; dream big, dream gargantuan, dream the greatest you-fully-realized dream that you can imagine. Then... start making it happen and don't quit, don't give up for even a second, no matter what, until that dream is completely birthed.

I leave the last word to Lady Wisdom from Proverbs:

"Prepare your work outside;

get everything ready for yourself in the field,

and after that build your house."

(Proverbs 24:27)

The color of dreams...

soul seeping into life

music

cannot be seen

still

the dance

flows

dreams

cannot be felt

still

they unfold

Dream

Breathe

Play

To Ponder Further:

- From the Bible: "But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded." (2 Chronicles 15:7)

- From Buddhism:"The stronger our devotion, the greater the blessings. But to have no devotion is like hiding oneself in a house with all the doors and shutters closed. The sunlight will never get in." (Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche)

- From Islam: "The believer who participates in human life, exposing himself to its torments and suffering, is worth more than the one who distances himself from its suffering." (Islam. Hadith of Ibn Majah)